Recommendations, Church, Family, Religion
John Beeson
This Week's Recommendations

  1. Will I ever love a church again? Brittany Allen asks, “Could I reclaim that vulnerability that once came so naturally to me after it had been used as a weapon pointed at my own heart? Could God rebuild my faith in his Bride and redeem what had been lost?”

  2. The hidden curriculum of the wilderness: Christopher Cook says, “When you’re in that space—the wilderness between who you were and who you’re becoming—you will be tempted to mislabel it; to call it punishment; to rebuke it like it’s an attack; even, to distract yourself from it.

This Week's Recommendations
Generosity, Church, Gratitude, Leadership
John Beeson
Invisible Generosity

I’m normally the second person to arrive at church on Sunday morning. Nick is always first. Nick arrives at 5am, straps on his blower, and cleans the sidewalks and patios. What a heart of hospitality: to volunteer to make sure that the church is looking her best come Sunday morning.

This is one notable act of service among countless others. A few years ago, two members of our connection group showed up within an hour of my text to help me move a jacuzzi. In our two local moves, we’ve had more than two dozen help us. Our connection group dropped off meals at our doorstep when we had Covid.

Invisible Generosity
Culture, Death, Spiritual Growth
John Beeson
Planned Obsolescence and My Backpack

I’ve had four bags in my (nearly) ten years of pastoral ministry at New Life. I bought a leather briefcase that was too small and came apart at the seams followed by a leather briefcase that was too large and stiff. I gave up on the briefcase experiment and for the past three years I have used my son’s hand-me-down backpack from his middle school years. My wife and kids constantly teased me about my middle school backpack. But you know,

Four years ago, I was tagging along on my wife’s shopping trip and found a backpack tucked away on a clearance rack. It was love at first sight, and not just because of the 60% off tag.

Planned Obsolescence and My Backpack
Recommendations, Christian Living, Culture, Heaven
John Beeson
This Week's Recommendations

  1. Four good questions to ask your tech: Tim Challies says, “We are in constant communication with our devices and through our devices. And since we are already in the habit of asking them our deep and personal questions, perhaps it would do us good to ask them some good and honest questions about themselves. Here are four questions I propose we ask of any technology that has become (or has the potential to become) deeply embedded in our lives.”

  2. Embracing the silence: Christopher Cook says, “We’re spiritually exhausted, disoriented, and desperate to hear from God. And in our desperation, we turn up the volume, hoping that more input will lead to more clarity. But the Lord doesn’t compete with the chaos. His voice doesn’t cut through the noise. It waits for stillness.”

This Week's Recommendations
Death, Suffering, Wisdom
John Beeson
The Ruin of Me

Today I have the pleasure of sharing a poem by my daughter, Camille (age 21). It is from the perspective of King Ahaz (see 2 Chronicles 28).

The Ruin of Me

leadership

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Invisible Generosity

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Invisible Generosity

I’m normally the second person to arrive at church on Sunday morning. Nick is always first. Nick arrives at 5am, straps on his blower, and cleans the sidewalks and patios. What a heart of hospitality: to volunteer to make sure that the church is looking her best come Sunday morning.

This is one notable act of service among countless others. A few years ago, two members of our connection group showed up within an hour of my text to help me move a jacuzzi. In our two local moves, we’ve had more than two dozen help us. Our connection group dropped off meals at our doorstep when we had Covid.

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A Career of Leadership Lessons

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A Career of Leadership Lessons

Nearly two years ago my mom retired as Department Head of Speech and Hearing Sciences at the University of Arizona.. My mom is one of the most skilled leaders I’ve had the chance to learn from.  Here is my interview with her on leadership lessons she learned over the decades.

When did you first think of yourself as a leader?

The first leadership position I had was serving in student council in junior high. I didn’t think of it as much as leadership as the fact that I got involved. I cared.

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Anger, Retaliation, and My Scion xB

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Anger, Retaliation, and My Scion xB

I drove a little manual 2005 Scion xB for about eight years. It finally gave out after 230,000 miles. I loved that little car. It was fuel-efficient and required minimal maintenance. But it is undeniably close to the least powerful car on the road. I’m pretty sure that on its specs, next to 0-60mph, it says, “Eventually!”

Unless I was lined up against someone from a nearby retirement community, I was the last car to reach the speed limit coming off a stoplight. Unsurprisingly, more aggressive drivers with more powerful vehicles tended to treat my little Scion like a safety cone on the road, more like an obstacle than a fellow traveler.

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The Top Ten Ways to Lead in Your Home (and Organization, Too!)

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The Top Ten Ways to Lead in Your Home (and Organization, Too!)

In the past post we considered the biblical priority of leading in our homes before stepping into leadership callings outside of our home.

When I was asked to speak to our Mom’s Matter group on leading well in the home I was a bit intimidated. I felt far from equipped to speak as a man to women on the topic of leadership. And so, I did the only thing I could think of: I asked wise, godly women who were also great leaders. Starting with my wife, I began to listen to the advice my female friends offered on leadership in the home and beyond.

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Will You Forgive Me for My Cowardice?

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Will You Forgive Me for My Cowardice?

.In the last post I confessed my sin of narcissism. It’s true, I can be a selfish and self-serving leader.

 

If it were only so easy to defend ourselves against sins from one direction. One of my favorite little leadership books to come out in the past few years has been Trevin Wax’s The Multi-Directional Leader. Wax’s thesis is simple: most leaders are only concerned about threats that come from one direction, but any shepherd knows that threats come from all sides. A wise leader is aware not just of one threat from one direction, but many threats from many directions.

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

  1. If you use any of these 9 phrases every day, ‘you’re more emotionally secure than most’: 8 of Dr. Cortney Warren’s list of 9 are excellent (I’ll let you spot which one is problematic). Here are two good ones:“Let me think about that before I respond,” and “Am I like that?”

  2. Christian unity is deeper than ‘getting along’: Trevin Wax reflects on the riches of Jesus’ prayer in John 17, “Jesus wants his followers to be one as a way of participating in the oneness of the triune God.”

  3. Social media is causing our children to suffer: Joe Carter reports, “The U.S. surgeon general, Vivek Murthy, has issued a warning about the potential risks of social media on children’s mental health. Here’s why Christian parents should be concerned—and what we can do to protect our kids.”

  4. Gospel-shaped leaders communicate with grace-filled candor: Scott Thomas’s visual is helpful in considering how to move toward Christ-honoring communication. He says, “The goal of grace-filled candor is to find a solution to the conflict while deepening relationships with others.”

  5. The most common dad joke in each US state: This is pretty great. Although, I cry foul on a bunch of aphorisms masquerading as supposed “jokes.” Pennsylvania takes the cake as the most prolific dad-joking state with Oregon and Mississippi taking a strong anti-dad-joke stand.

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

  1. See Me: Andrea Sanborn begins, “Mommy, watch!” She twirls through the living room, nightgown billowing around her legs. “Watch me!” she pleads, spinning and dancing in the hope of her mother’s regard.”

  2. Dear Nursery Worker: Lara d’Entremont shares, “I came into your nursery with a lot of baggage. Not just a heavy diaper bag slung over my shoulder and a toddler clinging to my side. I came with grief from miscarriages. I came with sorrow from leaving the church we used to call home. I came with fear and uncertainty if this would be the place we could call our church.”

  3. Know the Difference Between Laziness and Limitations: Tim Shorey, who is battling stage four cancer imparts wisdom, “Losing your job may mean you don’t leave your house every morning. Nursing a newborn may mean you sit in a rocking chair for hours. Struggles with migraines or insomnia may mean you sleep when the rest of the world is busy. These are not matters for guilt. They are limitations.”

  4. There are an Infinite Number of Wheels in God’s Providence: Jacob Crouch asks, “Have you ever seen one of those Rube Goldberg machines? A Rube Goldberg machine is a contraption where someone sets up an incredibly complicated chain reaction in order to accomplish a simple task. (Check out this guy’s amazing basketball one for an example). I’m always amazed at how every little detail has to work out exactly right, or the whole thing falls apart. I’ve even made one before, and the smallest variation in any part can throw the whole thing off. For it to work as it was designed, even the most minute detail must happen exactly at the right place and the right time. God’s providence in our lives is infinitely more complex and amazing.”

  5. The Unconventional Model Behind Chic-fil-A’s Success: Really neat to see just how different Chic-fil-A’s approach is. Lots of leadership lessons here to be learned.

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Letting the Critics Drive the Conversation

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Letting the Critics Drive the Conversation

The atmosphere was lively at our city’s Independence Day celebration. A cover band belted out tributes to classic rock, bouncy houses were extra bouncy, and food trucks lined the field. Under a pop-up tent near the entrance, local politicians shook hands.  

One candidate approached me and pulled me into a conversation. Taking the bait, I asked her about her stance on a local issue. My question spun out into a twenty-minute discussion….

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

  1. Biblical Archaeology’s Top Discoveries of 2022: I missed several of these. The monument to Hezekiah is really neat. And so is the new magnetic dating technology.

  2. In the End, There are Yellow Tulips: Madelyn Canada’s post is stunning. Don’t miss this one. ““You look beautiful in ‘lellow,’ Ms. Madelyn.” She was in my arms, had put her little hands on my face and said it with the deepest sincerity. I chuckled and thanked her, setting her back down on the floor so she could join her other friends playing with baby dolls.”

  3. The Five Not-Points of Calvinism: Speaking of TULIP(s) ;), Scott Hubbard shares, “The poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772–1834) once described Calvinism as a lamb in wolf’s skin: “cruel in the phrases,” but “full of consolation for the suffering individual.” The words unconditional election, for example, can feel rough on the surface; they can seem to snarl and bare their teeth. Yet as countless Christians have discovered, beneath Calvinism’s wolfish exterior is the softness of a lamb.”

  4. Nurturing Emotional Well-being: Betty-Anne Van Rees begins, “One of the great misunderstandings about the human experience in our era is the idea that our emotional state is something that happens to us; that we are powerless to impact it. The truth is we make choices throughout our day that profoundly impact our emotional and mental well-being.”

  5. 5 Things a Leader Always Gets Right: Carey Nieuwhof is right on with this. “Knowing how to handle failure well is essential to success in leadership. But do you know what is harder? How you handle success. You would think success would be harder, but it is, and I’ve seen far more leaders blow success than I have leaders blow failure. Failure is, by nature, humiliating. It crushes pride. Success does the opposite. It naturally inflates a leader’s pride. It’s intoxicating.”

  6. Visualized: the World’s Population at 8 Billion: I love looking at these sorts of infographics. The world just hit 8 billion people: how does that break down over across the globe?

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6 Ways a Pastor Should Respond to a Departing Congregant

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6 Ways a Pastor Should Respond to a Departing Congregant

I sat across the room from the couple, trying to slow down my mind and open my heart to the criticism they were leveling at me. They had been offended by my sermon and had reacted on Facebook, indicating they were leaving the church. I reached out privately and asked if we could meet to talk. They agreed to do so. When we met, he was relatively calm, but she was very upset and I knew that I needed to hold my own emotions in check to be able to listen to the heart of what she was saying and respond in love, not hurt. As I had prayed to prepare for the meeting I genuinely didn’t think I was going to be able to ask for forgiveness for anything as I didn’t think I had done anything wrong. But in the midst of the meeting God opened my heart to see an area of blindness. I was able to ask and receive their forgiveness for the way this blind spot had injured them. I then asked if they would be willing to ask for forgiveness for their slander. They were willing to do so and I forgave them.

These are not the meetings that you anticipate when you sign up to be a pastor, but there are few moments more important in your ministry than these tense conversations.

Over the course of this series, I’ve reflected on a congregant’s responsibility, but pastors and leaders bear a responsibility to help congregants navigate departures well.

One friend wisely said, “I think the pastor needs to do his part in hearing the discord, attempt to reconcile, and when reconciliation is not the solution for continued membership, to ensure a good relocation.” She’s right. Here are six ways a leader should respond to those who are leaving:

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