Fear

Your Secrets Keep You Sick

Your Secrets Keep You Sick

We were stuck. “I’m done with the marriage,” she said. Years of subtle neglect had shut her down. She would remain married, but there would be no marriage. He was desperate. He heard his wife’s hurt and confessed his neglect. He was willing to change. In our sessions thereafter, he appeared earnest and his actions seemed to prove his sincerity. But she didn’t trust him and wouldn’t let down her guard.

Deep down, I felt something was amiss, but I didn’t know what it was. Several times she assured us that there was no other man involved.

Will You Forgive Me for My Cowardice?

Will You Forgive Me for My Cowardice?

.In the last post I confessed my sin of narcissism. It’s true, I can be a selfish and self-serving leader.

 

If it were only so easy to defend ourselves against sins from one direction. One of my favorite little leadership books to come out in the past few years has been Trevin Wax’s The Multi-Directional Leader. Wax’s thesis is simple: most leaders are only concerned about threats that come from one direction, but any shepherd knows that threats come from all sides. A wise leader is aware not just of one threat from one direction, but many threats from many directions.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Money is now more important to Americans than patriotism, religion, or kids: Peter Weber begins, “A Wall Street Journal/NORC poll released Monday found that "patriotism, religious faith, having children, and other priorities that helped define the national character for generations" have fallen steadily since 1998 and even 2019, the Journal reports.”

  2. Why do I need close friends? Roger Barrier shares, “Now, let me tell you a tragedy. Many people have no intimate friends. They are the loneliest people in the world. There is no one with whom they can open up. That’s why life is so tough.”

  3. The cost of fear: Karen Wade Hayes tells a simple story about baking a cake and fear. “As humans, we can be so impacted by fear that we hide or shrink back when new opportunities arise.”

  4. Five reasons you did not and cannot reinvent yourself: Lots of truth in this post by Brian Rosner. He says, “Human beings are social animals. A growing body of research—some parts surprising, some parts amusing—indicates the extent to which we are profoundly relational creatures and pushes against any notion that anyone is a self-made self.”

  5. An open letter to teens facing doubts about Christianity: Rebecca McLaughlin’s thoughts are winsome and true, “Sometimes you find yourself wondering what is really true. What if modern science has disproved God? What if Christians really are just bigots for not embracing same-sex marriage? What if all religions are equal paths to truth?”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Knowing the Future Doesn’t Cure Anxiety: Jen Wilkin’s post is loaded with wisdom, “We reason that if we knew what tomorrow would bring, we would use that information wisely to make good choices. But the story of Peter’s denial warns us otherwise. Jesus tells him explicitly how anxiety will cause him to sin in his immediate future. He does not alter his course. Peter’s knowledge of the future serves not to correct him but to condemn him. Foreknowledge yielded neither repentance nor humility in Peter.”

  2. Three Questions to Make Sense of Anxiety: In a similar vein, Joe Hussung notes that, “Our intuition is to say that anxiety is all about what we fear, but in reality, it is deeper than that. Anxiety is actually about what we love.”

  3. What Jesus Saw When He Looked at Peter After the Rooster Crowed: Erik Raymond with another related post, encourages us, “How do you think Jesus looked at Peter? Was Jesus surprised? Frustrated? Ashamed? If you are a Christian, then your understanding of how Jesus looked at Peter is foundational to your perception of how he looks at you when you sin.”

  4. Gen Z Couples are Shacking Up at Record Rates: Unsurprising report from Bloomberg, that 11% of those aged 18-24 are living with romantic partner. The 3.2 million cohabitating are 650,000 more than the same age group pre-pandemic.

  5. America the Single: Again, unfortunately unsurprising. Erica Pandey explains, “Over the last 50 years, the marriage rate in the U.S. has dropped by nearly 60%.”

Fear and Tremble

Fear and Tremble

Recently there was a tragic shooting at the University of Arizona. It impacted several close to me, including my mom, who knew the man killed in the tragedy. Hurricanes, opioids, cancer, car wrecks, and even the threat of war lurk and stir up anxiety and fear. Who wants more fear in their life?

A 2021 study found that Americans most want to avoid fear in their lives and most desire security and safety. On the flip side, Halloween is right around the corner: a holiday where Americans trivialize fear. Perhaps we think that we can lessen our anxieties if we make light of them.

Michael Reeves suggests that one type of fear can oust every other fear: the fear of God. To fear God is to experience true peace.

Michael Reeves is one of my favorite living Christian authors. He tackles profound theological topics with clarity and depth. In Rejoice and Tremble, Reeves argues for us to recover fear as a foundational posture in our relationship with God.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Blame David, Not Bathsheba. The prophet Nathan Did: Carmen Joy Imes navigates whether it is more appropriate to call David’s act with Bathsheba ‘adultery’ or ‘rape.’ She says, “Those arguing that David committed adultery often try to pin blame on Bathsheba for bathing in public, thereby seducing David, while those arguing that David raped her point to the uneven power dynamics between them.”

  2. A Lack of Generosity Means a Lack of Contentment: Bryan Chappell concludes, “If you knew that your funds were supporting people who need mercy, then you would earn all you could. If you knew that your funds were providing for the security of your family, you would save all you could. And if you knew that your funds were providing for the ministry of the gospel, you would give all you could. That’s why John Wesley said, “Earn all you can, save all you can, give all you can.””

  3. Viewing the Christian Story through the Lens of Our Suffering: Mark Talbot begins, “Often when something awful happens to us or those whom we love, we find ourselves asking, Why me? Why now? Why this? Suffering disrupts our lives, seeming to violate the way life should be. This can make us desperate to know why we are suffering.”

  4. The Elusiveness of Contentment: Reagan Rose starts her post, “Want to hear something kind of mind-blowing? 36% of people making over $250k/year live paycheck to paycheck (Bloomberg). I don’t know what economic bracket you’re in, but that seems like a fair chunk of change to be only scraping by.”

  5. Fighting Anxiety: Learning to Trust and Entrust: Robert Jones offers insight on anxiety in light of 1 Peter. I would add that it is important to discern if there are physiological reasons for anxiety as well that might require medication. He says, “When we look at the world around us and the daily pressures that consume us, like Peter’s readers, we realize how little we can control our lives. We can’t change the economy, the climate, the government, our health, or our friends and family. We can’t make people act the way we want. We have a lot to worry about.”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Which Sins are Feeding Your Sin of Lust? David Powlison talks about how important it is to press into the sin behind the sin of lust. He shares a breakthrough with one client, “Look what we just found out: another movie was playing in a theater next door. Suddenly we were not only dealing with a couple of bad behaviors: viewing pornography and masturbating. We were dealing with anger at God that was driving those behaviors. What was that about?”

  2. How to Give (and Receive) Repentance: Blake Glosson begins with this fun question, “Imagine you’re on Family Feud and Steve Harvey gives the following prompt: “We asked 100 sinners, ‘Name one reason why you do not repent of your sin to one another.’ The top seven answers are on the board.” What do you think the most common answers would be?”

  3. Don’t Always Be Efficient: If you’re like me, you might need this word from Seth Lewis. He asks, “Who wants an efficient friendship? Or marriage? Who would want to visit an efficient park, or art museum? Who prefers drive-through fast food to a slow evening meal where the conversation lasts longer than the courses? It’s great to be efficient, but it’s not always great.”

  4. Even the Darkness: Meredith Beatty shares, “As a child I was afraid of the dark, afraid that something sinister lurked under my bed just waiting to grab the stray toe hanging off the edge. But as an adult there’s a different kind of darkness, not literal, but just as scary. It’s one no one seeks and can descend upon us at any time. An uninvited blackout that clouds our hearts and brings despair.”

  5. Naturalism is Nonsense: The late RC Sproul doesn’t mince words in this short clip.

Wickedness and Unhealed Trauma

Wickedness and Unhealed Trauma

Trauma is everywhere. One in four women and one in six men will be sexually abused. At least one in seven children have experienced abuse or neglect in the past year. More than one in four abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children.

Psychological research continues to demonstrate the tentacle-like nature of the impact of trauma. Effects include dissociation, panic attacks, hyperarousal, loss of sleep, low self-esteem, grief, self-harm, suicidal ideation, and substance abuse.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. The Anxiety of Perpetual Yearbook Day: Eric Geiger likens social media today as a perpetual version of the day yearbooks came out. It’s a great analogy. He shares, “One of the most anxious days each year for me in high school was yearbook day – the day when yearbooks were passed out to all the students.”

  2. 3 Reasons for Hope in the Midst of Grief: Alaistair Begg writes, “You do not have to live long as a believer to discover that faith does not insulate us from feelings like grief and the fear of it.”

  3. 7 Healthy Ways to Resolve Conflict: Carey Niewhof opines, “I’m increasingly convinced many churches simply don’t grow because they suffer from conflict and that many teams never thrive because there’s simply too much tension.”

  4. Defending Sound Doctrine Against the Deconstruction of American Evangelicalism: Jonathan Leeman’s post is lengthy, but worth the time to read for those who are disconcerted by evangelicals deconstructing their faith. His conclusions are thoughtful and nuanced. Note his suggestion of having race consciousness but rejecting race essentialism.

  5. What’s Love Got to Do With It: Hope you’re not tired of my Walk off the Earth recs 😊!

This Week’s Recommendations

This Week’s Recommendations
  1. Husbands, Be Like Adam: Usually we consider the ways Adam failed as a husband. But he did succeed in at least one way. Aaron Sironi explains that, “When we experience a dire situation, we are tempted to wallow in shame and to despair and turn against others. We must remember and believe God’s promises and his Good News, but not just for ourselves. We must turn in faith and love and speak with hopeful confidence to those around us.”

  2. I’m Not All That Awesome: Adam Ramsey explains, “The gospel means that I’m not all that awesome. But I am loved. And that’s awesome. The gospel frees me to be honest about the ways I fall short instead of being crushed by them, because it reminds me that Jesus was crushed for me.”

  3. I Do Ordinary Work: Dan Doriani explains that ordinary work is beautiful work. He concludes, “So let us lay down the deflating rhetoric of “I just” and affirm the value of ordinary work. Let us also look to change our corner of the world, even if our corner is modest and only a few notice what we do. If our Lord sees it, that should be enough.”

  4. Fear No Evil: My friend Anne Imboden reflects on fear that grabs our heart and how to navigate it. She says, “Fear comes in two forms: rational and irrational. When we’re young, irrational fears are common. Monsters under our bed, for example. I myself had a ridiculously irrational fear of swallowing pills. I was sure the pill, however small it was, would lodge itself in my throat and I would suffocate. I insisted on taking all medicines in liquid form until I was in high school.”

  5. How Do We Overcome Sexual Sin? Bob Kelleman points us to analyze our longings. He says, “Jesus knows all about all of us. As our Creator, He knows that our core issue is a worship issue. That’s why, with the Samaritan woman, He doesn’t focus on her “co-dependency” or even her “sexual addiction” per se. Jesus focuses on her core spiritual thirst.”