marraige

Your Secrets Keep You Sick

Your Secrets Keep You Sick

We were stuck. “I’m done with the marriage,” she said. Years of subtle neglect had shut her down. She would remain married, but there would be no marriage. He was desperate. He heard his wife’s hurt and confessed his neglect. He was willing to change. In our sessions thereafter, he appeared earnest and his actions seemed to prove his sincerity. But she didn’t trust him and wouldn’t let down her guard.

Deep down, I felt something was amiss, but I didn’t know what it was. Several times she assured us that there was no other man involved.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. ·  Geopsychology: your personality depends on where you live: Take a look at where you live and have lived on this and see if it lines up. Agreeableness and conscientiousness stood out to me.

  2. ·  The professionals most likely to be paired up in marriage: Andrew Van Dam stuffs a lot more than you might think in this report. He begins, “The top spot goes to medical doctors, according to our analysis of responses to the Census Bureau’s American Community Survey over the past decade. Not-that-kind-of-doctors, also known as college professors, come in second.”

Trading Faces Identity Quiz

Trading Faces Identity Quiz

So, who are you? Many respond to that question by sharing their roles: “I am a mom.” “I am a dad.” “I am a sister.” “I am a wife.” “I am a husband.” “I am a lawyer.” “I am a teacher.” “I am an athlete.”

It’s not surprising that we answer the question this way. One of the first questions we ask children is “What do you want to be when you grow up?” It’s a fine question, but by asking it over and over again, we teach kids that they are what they do. We coach our children to substitute roles for true identities.

How to Waste Your Counseling

How to Waste Your Counseling

I forgot that I knew him. Our pre-marital counselor sat behind his oak desk with a large smile peeking out from under his white mustache. His gentle eyes reassured me. Angel and I slid into the love seat, facing him. It was my first counseling session. Angel’s, too. We were here for pre-marital counseling.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. The top 100 brands by value: Interesting infographic from visualize. Most surprising to me was that US companies made up half of the 100 brands. Unsurprisingly, China has a lot of companies represented as well.

  2. Thirteen years of coming back: I just love this post from Brianna Lambert. “Thirteen years of marriage, and Lord-willing many more ahead. I look back, and I see the beauty of a promise that won’t let go. I see two people, linked by an invisible cord. Though trial, sickness, and sin stretches it taut, the Lord won’t see that it breaks. Instead, the cord leads us back together, as we slowly pull ourselves nearer. Back to rest, back to forgiveness, back to joy, back to the hand I love to hold, and back to the love that started it all.”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. What Americans drink: Interesting infographs on what Americans drink and how that changes by age and how it has changed over the past fifteen years.

  2. Oneness not just faithfulness: Al Gooderham asks, “What’s the goal of marriage? I wonder how you answer that?”

  3. Should we live together before we get married? Les and Leslie Parrot look at the data to respond (obviously the moral and biblical grounds are much more important), “While cohabitation might seem practical on the surface, research suggests that it’s actually not as good for your relationship as you think. Before you make this life-changing decision, it’s important to think about the potential outcomes.”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Does getting married make you happier? Lyman Stone at the Institute for Family Studies reports, “’Newlywed’ happiness boosts are very clear, but even in the longer run, it seems like being married is associated with a person being happier than before marriage.”

  2. Where would I be? Mary Nolte shares the touching story of her son’s adoption… and our adoption by our Heavenly Father. “If we can grasp, really, truly grasp where we would be without Jesus, then we will be ready to take the gospel to the world, for you cannot preach what you do not know yourself. Have you pondered what it cost the Savior to secure your adoption?”

  3. What happened to historian Molly Worthen? An amazing story of God’s pursuit and transformation of a secular academic.

  4. Whistleblower says US concealing multi-decade program that captures UFO’s: Hard to wrap one’s head around this testimony. Nomaan Merchant reports, “The U.S. is concealing a longstanding program that retrieves and reverse engineers unidentified flying objects, a former Air Force intelligence officer testified Wednesday to Congress. The Pentagon has denied his claims.”

  5. The best adventure experiences in the US: Fun little list. Arizona’s adventure involves Route 66 stargazing in Flagstaff. Paddling Lake Superior in Duluth sounds like a blast.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Too busy for beauty: Paul Twiss asks us to consider how productivity can starve a soul. “We have trained ourselves in efficiency; we must also train our minds in the discipline of beholding in order to contemplate glory. For when the soul beholds beauty, it grows wings.”

  2. Ever Yours, Sin: Hannah Le Cras with a Screwtape-esque letter written from the perspective of sin, “Dear Soul, I am concerned that you have developed such a hostile attitude towards me of late. As you know, I have been with you all your life and always do my utmost to bring you pleasure. Yet you seem to have been persuaded that somehow I am out to destroy you! This grieves me very much.”

  3. Will my marriage ever be more? Ed Welch offers some very practical advice. “One reason we are hopeless in marriage is because there is nothing else we can do, so we resign ourselves and try to build a more independent life. But when we have confidence that the Spirit will use us, we become more resilient, creative, and engaged.”

  4. You cannot out-sin the cross: Jonathan Woodyard comments on Peter’s sermon at Pentecost, “Notice what Peter did not say. He did not say, ‘Well, it’s too late. You’ve messed up too much. You killed the Messiah. There is simply no hope. Your sin is too great.’”

  5. More than you can handle: Seth Lewis suggests that no, God does not “give us more than we can handle.” “If you belong to Jesus, you can rest assured that he will absolutely give you tasks that are far beyond what you can handle. An honest look at his commands will show you that he already has. Don’t worry about that. The size of your lunch, or your ability, or your strength, is never the point. Bring your insufficiency to Jesus, and take the next step into impossible obedience. He will do the providing. He can handle it.”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. How cancel culture points to the gospel: Marie Burrus says, “Like most cultural elements, cancel culture does get some things right. Throughout Scripture, we’re reminded that injustice and evil should be uncovered and eliminated. Though we may not affirm its methods, cancel culture points to the truth of human depravity and the prevalence of injustice in our world.”

  2. Think little: Darryl Dash with a related article, “So often, we’re focused on the big. I’m grateful for those who are faithful in big things. I just think it’s time we stopped overlooking what God does through the rest of us who aren’t powerful, connected, and leveraged. It’s time to move from focusing on what’s big and powerful to seeing what God can do through the ordinary, even when it doesn’t look like much.”

  3. When I was losing my marriage, Jesus taught me to forgive: Sheila Dougal shares, “Suffering when someone hurts you doesn’t save you or anyone else. But walking through this suffering with Jesus brings a miraculous change in our lives because of the blood of Christ which does save us. It’s the love of Christ that compels us to forgive others. As we look at Jesus and what he has done at the cross—bearing our unjust acts and wicked thoughts—his love grows in us and empowers us to forgive rather than begrudge.”

  4. An easier way to read Revelation: Have you ever felt stumped by the final book of the Bible? Jim Davis offers some helpful advice to the reader, “Revelation is notoriously confusing, but it doesn’t have to be. Yes, there are dragons, angels, antichrists, and (seemingly) multiple returns of Christ. But if we read this book through the lens of recapitulation, it becomes easier to understand.”

  5. Why do snakes have forked tongues? Isn’t our Creator amazing?

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Knowing the Future Doesn’t Cure Anxiety: Jen Wilkin’s post is loaded with wisdom, “We reason that if we knew what tomorrow would bring, we would use that information wisely to make good choices. But the story of Peter’s denial warns us otherwise. Jesus tells him explicitly how anxiety will cause him to sin in his immediate future. He does not alter his course. Peter’s knowledge of the future serves not to correct him but to condemn him. Foreknowledge yielded neither repentance nor humility in Peter.”

  2. Three Questions to Make Sense of Anxiety: In a similar vein, Joe Hussung notes that, “Our intuition is to say that anxiety is all about what we fear, but in reality, it is deeper than that. Anxiety is actually about what we love.”

  3. What Jesus Saw When He Looked at Peter After the Rooster Crowed: Erik Raymond with another related post, encourages us, “How do you think Jesus looked at Peter? Was Jesus surprised? Frustrated? Ashamed? If you are a Christian, then your understanding of how Jesus looked at Peter is foundational to your perception of how he looks at you when you sin.”

  4. Gen Z Couples are Shacking Up at Record Rates: Unsurprising report from Bloomberg, that 11% of those aged 18-24 are living with romantic partner. The 3.2 million cohabitating are 650,000 more than the same age group pre-pandemic.

  5. America the Single: Again, unfortunately unsurprising. Erica Pandey explains, “Over the last 50 years, the marriage rate in the U.S. has dropped by nearly 60%.”