One of the many disappointing realities about the American political landscape is the lack of ownership. It’s not just politicians who shirk ownership – we all do. When my microphone sounds wonky, my mind immediately goes to the sound tech wondering if he will remedy his mistake, not to the more likely responsible party: myself. I probably moved the microphone or pulled the cord.
Of course we know that avoiding ownership usually backfires. Our esteem falls for those who dodge responsibility. But even still, the temptation to blame shift is strong in all of us.
“I am what I feel” sums up expressive individualism. Our culture frames identity around discovering what our deepest desires and longings are. To know our longings is to know ourselves.
In Billie Eilish’s 2023 song “What was I made for?” written for “Barbie,” Eilish reflects on the confusing journey to understand her feelings. It’s this journey, she assures herself that will lead to her happiness.
“The end is near!” “Repent!”
Have you ever seen a statement of prophetic warning spray-painted on a wall or in a subway station? got to be honest, I don’t take much notice to such warnings. But what if those warnings were for me and for you?
We are feeling all the feels. Our youngest, Soren, is about to graduate from high school. This has been a season of reflection for Angel and me and a season of preparation. In our children’s ministry hallways at New Life next to each age level we have containers that represent how many days of influence remain for you as a parent before your child launches. I recognize, of course, that there is no finish line for parenting, but one’s influence and role changes significantly in each season.
As we look back on our parenting, the most important things we taught our children were who God is and who they were.
Intrusive thoughts are unwelcome and hard to control. I can remember having intrusive thoughts from the time I was a child. When we drove, I often felt the compulsion to press one foot down on the floor between the telephone poles (and yes, I also hopped over the cracks in the sidewalk). At other times, when walking alone, I remember the persistent thought, “He’s watching you.” I would search the bushes and trees for the one my mind told me was watching me.
“I am what I feel” sums up expressive individualism. Our culture frames identity around discovering what our deepest desires and longings are. To know our longings is to know ourselves.
In Billie Eilish’s 2023 song “What was I made for?” written for “Barbie,” Eilish reflects on the confusing journey to understand her feelings. It’s this journey, she assures herself that will lead to her happiness.
The top 100 brands by value: Interesting infographic from visualize. Most surprising to me was that US companies made up half of the 100 brands. Unsurprisingly, China has a lot of companies represented as well.
Thirteen years of coming back: I just love this post from Brianna Lambert. “Thirteen years of marriage, and Lord-willing many more ahead. I look back, and I see the beauty of a promise that won’t let go. I see two people, linked by an invisible cord. Though trial, sickness, and sin stretches it taut, the Lord won’t see that it breaks. Instead, the cord leads us back together, as we slowly pull ourselves nearer. Back to rest, back to forgiveness, back to joy, back to the hand I love to hold, and back to the love that started it all.”
Don’t Let the Culture War Steal Your Joy: Trevin Wax reflects, “The worrisome quality I find in much of today’s cultural commentary is the absence of joy. It’s as if our souls have shriveled until all that remains is a sense of hopelessness, a quiet resignation that assumes the church cannot thrive in this strange new world.”
Holiness is Transgressive: Brett McCracken’s post sizzles. I love this, “’Transgression’ in contemporary pop culture has become ubiquitous to the point of banality…it’s all so pervasive by now that it’s tiresome, as “transgressive” as the khaki section of Old Navy.”
Church Attendance Drops Among Young, Liberals, and Singles: Christianity Today reports, “Before the pandemic, 75 percent of Americans reported attending religious services at least monthly. By spring 2022, that figure dropped to 68 percent attending at least monthly.”
I Want Him Back (But Not the Old Me Back): Tim Challies on sanctification and the death of his son, “I want Nick back. But I don’t want my old self back. I so badly wish that my son could be part of my life again. But I would so badly hate to lose all the precious ways in which God has been real to me and true to me and present with me in my sorrows.”
Travel Photographer of the Year: If you enjoy photography, make sure you scroll through all of these. The elephant and the lion looking through the buffalo pics are particularly stunning.
Why Do Billionaires Want to Live Forever: Tim Challies begins a deep reflection with this question, “Why is it that billionaires always seem to want to live forever? Why is it that the 1% of the 1% almost always seem to veer from their core businesses into attempts to prolong their lives indefinitely?”
Why Mainstream Scholars often Differ with Evangelical Pastors on the Gospel: Having attended a mainline seminary, I resonated with George Sinclair’s reasoning here. Near the end of the post he shares, “There is a rich, thick, deep history and literature of Christian thought which shows not just the truth and reasonableness of miracles, but the importance of them for a wide, humane, and beautiful understanding of the world—one which leads to human flourishing.”
Fertility is Not a Disease: D Eaton writes, “This desire to have sexual pleasure without constraint has culture suppressing the truth of not only biblical revelation but also science. To justify the extermination of the child, we must classify the child in the womb as either not a human in its natural course of existence or not alive. It is impossible to deny either scientifically, yet logic and truth must be sacrificed on the altar of sexual autonomy.”
The Last Gift My Father Gave Me: This is an excellent piece from Mike Cosper. He shares how his father’s death allowed him to finally experience the gift of grief.
Your Money Will Trick You: Trevin Wax reminds us, “Jesus says ‘Watch out!’ and ‘Be on guard’ as if there’s a silent, stealthy enemy creeping up on an unsuspecting person, ready to pounce. We like to think of wealth and possessions as inanimate objects, helpful to us if we use them correctly, but basically neutral.”
As a boy I was fascinated with pain. I often wondered how the pain I felt compared to pain others felt. I mostly kept this to myself, but there was at least one occasion I got into an argument with friends about who had experienced the most pain.
We all shared our stories: fractured limbs, concussions, road rash, and a hernia (that was my best card). As each story concluded the storyteller would lean back, content with his story, expecting white flags to be raised in defeat. But, in fact, each of us was disappointed with the reception of our tales of woe as the next storyteller would jump in, one-upping the last teller’s story of pain with his own.
I look back with embarrassment at the immaturity and narcissism this pain one-upmanship revealed in me. And yet, is this not the culture we live in today: a culture of victimhood?
The Royal Flush of Victimhood
There is nothing more powerful in today’s culture than playing the card of victimhood. And there appear to be more playing that card than ever before.
As a boy I was fascinated with pain. I often wondered how the pain I felt compared to pain others felt. I mostly kept this to myself, but there was at least one occasion I got into an argument with friends about who had experienced the most pain.
We all shared our stories: fractured limbs, concussions, road rash, and a hernia (that was my trump card). As each story concluded the storyteller would lean back, content with his story, expecting white flags to be raised in defeat. But, in fact, each of us was disappointed with the reception of our tales of woe. Our friends seemed unmoved by our ghastly pain and then would jump in with their own story, believing they could one-up the pain the last storyteller experienced.
I look back with embarrassment at the immaturity this pain one-upmanship revealed in me. My lack of empathy revealed a narcissistic heart. Thinking that my own pain was greater than anyone else’s only demonstrated my ego. Today’s culture of victim reveals similar truths about our collective hearts.
The Wild Draw Four Card of Victimhood
There is nothing more powerful in today’s culture than playing the card of victimhood. Like a kid holding onto the Wild Draw Four card in Uno, we hold tight to our victim card, pulling it out at just the right moment, expecting it to guarantee our victory.
In January, Angel and I celebrated 20 years of marriage. If you’ve been a reader of this blog for a while, you know what a miracle that is. It is a gift to be able to celebrate his goodness and faithfulness.
Angel and I met in high school. She was a freshman, and I was a junior. She set her sights on me. I was oblivious… until I wasn’t.
After a long-distance courtship, we married at the tender ages of 21 and 19. I often tell young couples I walk through pre-marital counseling with that marrying early comes with unique gifts and unique challenges. There are gifts of getting married young. Those include the blessing of a long history with someone, protection from certain sexual temptations, and leaning into responsibility earlier than most.
Who will be joining you at your Thanksgiving table this year? If you are like most people, it will be a much smaller gathering than you are accustomed to. There will be some measure of grief as you pull fewer chairs up to the table and slice into that smaller turkey.
There are lots of reasons to be discouraged in 2020. Businesses closed, some had paychecks replaced with unemployment checks, most have had a friend or family member battle COVID-19, and some have lost loved ones this year. Churches haven’t been able to gather together in person for worship for chunks of the year, and division over masks and politics has threatened the church’s unity.
May I invite James to one of the open seats at your Thanksgiving table? Let me warn you, though, James is the uncle who shoots straight. You might not like what he has to say. But you know he always speaks out of love.
Sitting with icy beverages in hand, complaints start dripping like the oil off the bird in the oven. Your dad grouses about politics, your grandfather expresses concern over financial instability, your sister goes off on anti-maskers, you voice your irritation with your boss, and your mom shares her annoyance about decisions at your church. James listens, sips his cranberry punch, and then quietly interjects, “Count it all joy, my [family], when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness” (James 1:2).
Sheesh, Uncle Jimmy, can’t you show a little sympathy to a family struggling through a challenging year?
A note from John:
It’s my pleasure to share with you the story of my friend, Madhu Gammon. Madhu and her husband Keith attend Stone Hill Church in Princeton, NJ, where I served as a pastor for eight years. Madhu and Keith’s story centers around how God stretched their faith and joy in the midst of the difficulties of their son Ajit’s medical issues.
In God’s providence, Angel and I are, right now, in the home state of Madhu and Keith: Tamil Nadu, India.
I pray that you are as blessed by Madhu’s humble faith and irrepressible joy as I have been.
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Unexpected turn of Events
We had come on holiday to the USA in 2001 to see Priya. With less than a month left to return to India, a consultation for Ajit gave him a new anti-seizure medication in addition to his regular medication. This juncture is where everything turned topsy-turvy with a severe drug reaction. He was too weak to get out of bed, grew weaker, unable to tolerate food, and subsequently compelling us to change our return date to India. The scene had changed. It was staggering! And at this time, Keith’s mother had just breathed her last in Chennai and he had to return immediately.
When we come to the crossroads, we can often miss seeing the Cross. The words drawing us to “see, from his head, his hands, his feet, sorrow and love flow mingled down, did ‘er such love or sorrow meet or thorns compose so rich a crown.” Oh were it not for the Cross, we would not know that God understands the pain of suffering. Yet to now try and understand the Sovereignty of God and see Him articulate His Grace to us was to expect a miracle, a gesture of forgiveness and freedom.
A note from John:
It’s my pleasure to share with you the story of my friend, Madhu Gammon. Madhu and her husband Keith attend Stone Hill Church in Princeton, NJ, where I served as a pastor for eight years. Madhu and Keith’s story centers around how God stretched their faith and joy in the midst of the difficulties of their son Ajit’s medical issues.
In God’s providence, Angel and I are, right now, in the home state of Madhu and Keith: Tamil Nadu, India.
I pray that you are blessed by Madhu’s humble faith and irrepressible joy as I have been.
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Setting out with a bag and an umbrella is perfect for a walk in the park. We finally got there. It was an unexpected wait to get through the checkpoints. The Waiting Room was abuzz with swiftly changing scenes as we moved from the corridor to the elevator. The sounds of trolleys with their squeaky wheels rolling by were not particularly musical. It was the easiest thing to misunderstand the unrealistic questionnaire in the dim lit room, the questions like a frisbee whizzed all around me. Frankly speaking, what does it feel like to be faced with an unexpected diagnosis, ‘the baby has an increase in head circumference’?
We had started a journey into the world of unknowns! What is normal after all? “Normal is an illusion. What is normal to the spider is chaos to the fly.” The world of disability is a deep dark pit of foggy impressions until it comes to you and you are still in a fog.
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