Parenting

The De-Centering Joy of Parenting

The De-Centering Joy of Parenting

Back in our children’s hometown of Princeton, New Jersey, our son Soren and his girlfriend, Viki, walked hand in hand down streets he had not visited in a decade. When they first started dating, he promised her he would take her there one day. On this rainy afternoon, that promise was fulfilled.

We sipped local coffee… as we wandered through familiar streets, greeted by linen-white dogwood blossoms. We shared memories as we passed childhood homes, old landmarks, and favorite gelato shops... We pulled over at the Princeton Battlefield and let Soren and Viki walk ahead as we hung back.  

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. When fear dresses up like help: Loads of parenting wisdom packed into this post from Stacy MacLaren, “He was not only trying to become his own person. He was also trying to do that without hurting me. And at some point, I think he realized that in order to do the next right thing, he was going to hurt me no matter what.”

  2. Stop keeping score: Andrew Noble says, “Envy is at the root of modern comparison games. When someone does a good moral act toward us, such as paying our bill, driving our kids, or folding our laundry, we should receive and enjoy their good gifts.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Blessing the voyage: launching them without losing them: My friend and colleague Stacy MacLaren with a timely piece, “We don’t raise our children to keep them. We raise them to release them.”

  2. An unremarkable life: Jonny Pollock says, “The modern mantra appears simple. Be remarkable. Whether through career achievements, our social media feeds, or our personal brands (don’t roll your eyes, we all have them!), the pressure is relentless.”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Is your fatherhood like a Rubik’s Cube? This equally pertains to moms, “I call this The Rubik’s Cube Effect. One side starts to come together, but in the very act of bringing order there, something else is thrown out of place.”

  2. The paradox of the brightening path: Trevin Wax begins, “There’s a paradox you’ll encounter the longer you walk with Jesus. The more you experience the light of his love, the more clearly you see the remaining spots and stains in your life. Progress seems lacking. Stumbles continue to mark your journey. The more you know the Lord’s love for you, the more you feel your unworthiness and your dependence on his grace.”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. The case against social media: Jon Haidt and Zack Rausch say, “Across surveys in multiple countries, many young people report that social media has harmed them directly and indirectly. They describe widespread experiences of cyberbullyingsexual exploitationsleep disruptionlower confidence, and worse mental health. They also express strikingly high levels of regret toward the major platforms they have used for years. In a Harris Poll survey of members of Gen Z, nearly half reported that they wish that TikTok, X (Twitter), and Snapchat were never invented — despite using those platforms for several hours a day.”

  2. Six selfish reasons to have kids: Kevin Kelly says, “Now after only two generations

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. The birds and the bees, baby and me: Karen Swallow Prior says, “Childlessness can be a calling in the same way that being a parent is a calling, or as marriage or celibacy can be callings. Not to be called to something is inherently to be called to something else, even if that something else is elusive for a while.”

  2. Sabbath is more than self-care: Megan Hill says, “The Sabbath unplugs us from our daily work. But simply unplugging is only half the story. On the Sabbath, the Lord frees us from work and frees us unto worship.”

No Contact: Relationships in a Cancel Culture World

No Contact: Relationships in a Cancel Culture World

“She’s gaslighting me.”

“He’s a narcissist.”

I regularly hear couples lob these accusations at one another as they sit across from me in my office. We live in a therapeutic culture, where psychologized language has permeated the way we talk about relationships. Categories and lingo once limited to clinical settings have become everyday vocabulary for explaining conflict.

Last year, Samuel James wrote an excellent post titled If You Ask AI for Marriage Advice, It’ll Probably Tell You to Get Divorced. The article is as good as its title suggests. In it, James shares a striking graph that tracks 15 years of relationship advice on Reddit.

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My Son Can’t Ride a Bike: Failures in Parenting

My Son Can’t Ride a Bike: Failures in Parenting

Our son Soren is twenty years old. And he doesn’t know how to ride his bike.

I share this as a confession. Soren, on the other hand, is totally comfortable with this reality.

As parents, we feel responsible for equipping our kids for the world. But what does it mean to prepare our children for life? What does it mean to be a successful parent?

The demands of parenting can feel overwhelming. We want to teach our children to be thoughtful stewards by caring for their things and cleaning the house. We want them to learn how to make meals and do their own laundry.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. When a crack becomes a chasm: Dave Almack says, “In years past, family disagreements often resulted in an uneasy detente and shallow conversations at gathering times. Today, in more and more cases, these disconnects have turned into outright hostility and accusations of wrongdoing by parents who have diligently tried to raise their kids to love and honor the Lord. It is a painful and almost unbearable experience to endure and far more common than many might know.

  2. Alysa Liu inspired an exhausted world: Brianna Lambert begins, "Last week, one of the most memorable moments of the Olympics occurred

How Motherhood Changed Me

How Motherhood Changed Me

Today I have the privilege of having my wife, Angel, share her thoughts on motherhood and her spiritual journey. You’re in for a treat. Angel is a counselor at Whole Hope Christian Counseling

 I am a type A, firstborn. By the time I was twenty, I had my life planned out. After marriage, John would work to get me through college, and then I would work as an elementary school teacher to get John through seminary without debt. Then he would graduate, we would move into our white-picket-fence dream home, start our family, and begin a life of ministry together.

I feel like you went through marriage, education, and childbearing at such a young age.  Would you please consider adding your age at various stages?  You’ll see my clues, lol.