victim

Fighting for Victimhood

Fighting for Victimhood

As a boy I was fascinated with pain. I often wondered how the pain I felt compared to pain others felt. I mostly kept this to myself, but there was at least one occasion I got into an argument with friends about who had experienced the most pain.

We all shared our stories: fractured limbs, concussions, road rash, and a hernia (that was my best card). As each story concluded the storyteller would lean back, content with his story, expecting white flags to be raised in defeat. But, in fact, each of us was disappointed with the reception of our tales of woe as the next storyteller would jump in, one-upping the last teller’s story of pain with his own.

I look back with embarrassment at the immaturity and narcissism this pain one-upmanship revealed in me. And yet, is this not the culture we live in today: a culture of victimhood?

The Royal Flush of Victimhood

There is nothing more powerful in today’s culture than playing the card of victimhood. And there appear to be more playing that card than ever before.

The Robbery of Victimhood

The Robbery of Victimhood

As a boy I was fascinated with pain. I often wondered how the pain I felt compared to pain others felt. I mostly kept this to myself, but there was at least one occasion I got into an argument with friends about who had experienced the most pain.

We all shared our stories: fractured limbs, concussions, road rash, and a hernia (that was my trump card). As each story concluded the storyteller would lean back, content with his story, expecting white flags to be raised in defeat. But, in fact, each of us was disappointed with the reception of our tales of woe. Our friends seemed unmoved by our ghastly pain and then would jump in with their own story, believing they could one-up the pain the last storyteller experienced.

I look back with embarrassment at the immaturity this pain one-upmanship revealed in me. My lack of empathy revealed a narcissistic heart. Thinking that my own pain was greater than anyone else’s only demonstrated my ego. Today’s culture of victim reveals similar truths about our collective hearts.

The Wild Draw Four Card of Victimhood

There is nothing more powerful in today’s culture than playing the card of victimhood. Like a kid holding onto the Wild Draw Four card in Uno, we hold tight to our victim card, pulling it out at just the right moment, expecting it to guarantee our victory.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. Marriage in Rapid Decline, Even Among Evangelicals: Colin Smothers shares some startling and disheartening news, ““According to a Census Bureau survey taken in 2018, only 35 percent of 25- to 34-year-old men were married, a precipitous and rapid plunge from 50 percent in 2005.”

2. 10 Things Pastors Should Know About Divorce: Speaking of marriage, this is an excellent article from Laura Petherbridge. Her first of the ten is that “Divorce is a death: Regardless of the circumstances, divorce signifies the fatality of the marriage vow. It’s the death of the dream, the breaking of the covenant, the ending of ‘what should have been.’ It often feels as if death would have been easier because death is natural and doesn’t carry the shame.”

3. That Feels Nice: I could read Chris Thomas’s lyrical writing all day long. I love this reflection on sin and the weight of the crashing ocean.

4. Painting on the Surface of Water: Wow. Mesmerizing, indeed.

5. Beware the Danger of a Victim Mentality: This article from Akos Balogh, an immigrant now in Australia, is very helpful. He begins, “I was a refugee from communist Eastern Europe—from Hungary. I grew up among other refugees, among victims: victims of an oppressive totalitarian regime; victims who saw loved ones imprisoned and killed; victims for whom fleeing their homeland was often the only option left. Now not for a moment do I want to minimise the suffering of my fellow (Hungarian) refugees. Their pain was real.”

A Culture of Victimhood

A Culture of Victimhood

As a boy I was fascinated with pain. I often wondered how the pain I felt compared to pain others felt. I mostly kept this to myself, but I remember at least on one occasion getting into an argument with friends about who had experienced the most pain.

We all shared our stories: fractured limbs, concussions, road rash, and a hernia (that was my trump card). As each story concluded the storyteller would lean back, content with his sharing of the story expecting arms to be raised in defeat. But, in fact, each of us was disappointed with the reception of our tales of woe as the next storyteller would jump in, one-upping the last teller’s story of pain with his own.

I look back with embarrassment at the immaturity and narcissism this pain one-upmanship revealed in me. And yet, is the behavior of so many today any better?