divorce

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. Marriage in Rapid Decline, Even Among Evangelicals: Colin Smothers shares some startling and disheartening news, ““According to a Census Bureau survey taken in 2018, only 35 percent of 25- to 34-year-old men were married, a precipitous and rapid plunge from 50 percent in 2005.”

2. 10 Things Pastors Should Know About Divorce: Speaking of marriage, this is an excellent article from Laura Petherbridge. Her first of the ten is that “Divorce is a death: Regardless of the circumstances, divorce signifies the fatality of the marriage vow. It’s the death of the dream, the breaking of the covenant, the ending of ‘what should have been.’ It often feels as if death would have been easier because death is natural and doesn’t carry the shame.”

3. That Feels Nice: I could read Chris Thomas’s lyrical writing all day long. I love this reflection on sin and the weight of the crashing ocean.

4. Painting on the Surface of Water: Wow. Mesmerizing, indeed.

5. Beware the Danger of a Victim Mentality: This article from Akos Balogh, an immigrant now in Australia, is very helpful. He begins, “I was a refugee from communist Eastern Europe—from Hungary. I grew up among other refugees, among victims: victims of an oppressive totalitarian regime; victims who saw loved ones imprisoned and killed; victims for whom fleeing their homeland was often the only option left. Now not for a moment do I want to minimise the suffering of my fellow (Hungarian) refugees. Their pain was real.”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. I’m Not Hateful, You Are: David French shares one of the consequences of our “you-can’t-judge-me-culture” is the perception that those in the other political party are more extreme than they actually are. He says, “This mutual loathing translates into other misperceptions, such as completely misjudging the extremism of your political opponents.”

2. A Day for Lament at the Supreme Court: Marvin Olasky explains John Roberts’s convoluted reasoning for now allowing even the most modest protection for moms and unborn children at abortion clinics. Christianity Today provides its own analysis, including more background on the lack of safety in Louisiana abortion clinics.

3. How Often Do Churchgoers Read Their Bibles? Lifeway’s study is relevant for this week’s blog post on the Bible.

4. How Many Reasons May Christians Divorce For? Wayne Grudem shares why his thinking has changed. He begins, “Until 2019, I held the common, historic Protestant view of divorce, namely, that adultery and desertion were the only two legitimate grounds for divorce allowed by Scripture.”

5. A King Proximate to Pain: Chris Thomas with a short reflection on the powerful lies of pain and the gift of a Savior who is present in our pain. He begins, “As pain levels intensify, so does my sense of isolation. As the ache sets in, so does loneliness. I wake in the night with torment whispering sweet nothings in my ear, ‘No one understands. No one feels. No one knows. You’re alone.’”

6. Stand Up! So beautiful and powerful.

She Wanted Out: Navigating an Unwanted Divorce

She Wanted Out: Navigating an Unwanted Divorce

I’m so glad to be able to bring you a guest post from my friend Wes Jackson today. Wes has been a friend of mine since Middle School and brings transparency and wisdom to this sensitive topic. I’m sure you will benefit from navigating his experience of divorce and I encourage you to share it with friends who would profit from his insight as well.

Grace and peace,

John

When Divorce Happens: Through a Husband’s Eyes

It was Halloween Day, 2017, when my ex-wife told me she wanted a divorce. This announcement didn’t come completely out of the blue. We were ten days out from our last big fight, and it was only eight days since she sat me down to let me know that she wanted to stay together through the holidays for our kids’ sake and then separate in the new year.

We had been married for about eight and a half years and they were very difficult years together. We had tried Christian counseling. We’d met and prayed with our pastor. I thought we’d tried about everything possible and maybe separation wouldn’t be such a bad idea. We could give each other some space so things could cool down while we continued to meet with our Christian counselor with the hope of reconciling the marriage.

When her desire for a separation changed to a desire for a divorce, everything became much more difficult.

What followed was six to eight months with attorneys and paperwork and appearances in the Arizona Family Court system. During this time, I made three separate overtures to try and reconcile the marriage, but all of them were refused. My wife made it very clear that she was done with the marriage and had moved on.

While I can honestly say that I didn’t want to divorce my wife, I can’t say that I should have been surprised that she wanted to divorce me.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       Modern Research About Happiness Repeatedly Reflects Biblical Principles: Randy Alcorn walks through eight findings about happiness from psychological research and their eight biblical parallels.

2.       The Top 50 Countries Where It’s Hardest to be a Christian: Of particular interest to me is India not only remaining #10 on this list, but unfortunately taking the top place in a new designation. Jayson Casper explains, “India ranks first in the new category of physical or mental abuse, which includes beatings and death threats. The continuing rise in the subcontinent of a militant Hindu nationalism contributed to 1,445 of the reported 14,645 cases worldwide.”

3.       Patrick Lencioni's Personal Leadership Crash: This Carey Niewhof podcast is gold. It's loaded with helpful leadership insights about a leader's health.

4.       National Giving Trends: Lifeway recently published a report on national giving trends. A few takeaways: the national giving percentage has remained at 2% for decades. Diving deeper, "giving to religious causes receives the largest amount of gifts when compared to other sectors. It is at 31%. However, in the 1980’s, religious giving received 58% and has been on a steady decline every year. This is not good."

5.       Can The Cosmic Crisp Live Up to Huge Expectations? You might have heard of the new breed of apples that just hit store shelves. But can the apple pay back the huge investment that has been made in it?

6.       What Does the Bible Say About Divorce and Remarriage? Tom Schreiner answers this difficult question.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       Please Stop Saying Christianity is a Relationship, Not a Religion: Kevin Halloran responds to the claim that Christianity is a relationship, not a religion, "Christianity isn’t a dead religion of boredom at church, life as a hypocrite, and trying to be better than everyone else. It’s having the God of the Universe who was once my enemy as my loving Heavenly Father. It’s having my sins forgiven through Christ’s blood and communion with God by His Spirit. It’s living hope for this broken world and the promise of restoration. And, oh yeah, I have an eternal inheritance that no man, demon, or trial can EVER snatch away from me. Now that is a religion and relationship worth pursuing religiously.”

2.       Why Your Child's Feelings Shouldn't Be the Final Arbiter for How You Parent: Melissa Edgington with this counter-cultural truth: "We have been taught to pay special attention to our kids’ feelings and to validate them as much as we can. I’m not saying this is a terrible practice. I mean, it’s never bad to consider someone’s feelings. But can I say with all honesty that about 85% of a kid’s feelings about things are irrelevant? Kids feel 147 different ways before lunchtime. They get upset if their graham cracker is broken. They cry like their heart is broken because a dog licked their elbow. Worse than that, they will kick and scream like you’re murdering them because you’re trying to buckle them into a carseat or keep them from grabbing a hot burner or stop them from running into the street. If we pay attention to every feeling that a kid has, we will be paralyzed and completely ineffective as parents."

3.       10 Common but Illegitimate Reasons to Get a Divorce: Tim Challies shares from Jim Newheiser's new book on marriage helpful responses to these ten common reasons given for divorce.

4.       They Shall Know Us by Our Clutter: Kristin Du Mez reports, "I recently came across the results of this anthropological study, published in 2012: Life at Home in the Twenty-First Century: 32 Families Open Their Doors... the authors analyzed and cataloged the visible possessions in each and every room of the 32 households—counting, documenting, examining, and coding artifacts in situ, in their place. Devoting thousands of hours to data collection, they hoped to glean insights on the acquisition and organization of material artifacts, and on how families interacted with their possessions, and with one another. The results of the study are at once illuminating and devastating. Their most striking findings concern the sheer magnitude of our material possessions."

5.       Yosemite: Range of Light: The whole earth is full of his glory!