Letting the Critics Drive the Conversation

The atmosphere was lively at our city’s Independence Day celebration. A cover band belted out tributes to classic rock, bouncy houses were extra bouncy, and food trucks lined the field. Under a pop-up tent near the entrance, local politicians shook hands.  

One candidate approached me and pulled me into a conversation. Taking the bait, I asked her about her stance on a local issue. My question spun out into a twenty-minute discussion. I struggled to get her to answer the question I asked. Instead, she wanted to defend herself against attacks her opponent had made against her. I stay somewhat informed about issues, and politicians come election time, but I hadn’t yet heard the “attacks” from her opponents she kept referencing. And frankly, I wasn’t that interested in their attacks on her. I was much more interested in her stance on the issues. But all she could see were the attacks, and was desperate to restore her credibility. She expected everyone coming to her that day had heard of those attacks and was most interested in her response to them.

Three weeks later, I sat with two team members on a staff retreat, and we processed one of the sessions together. Prompted by a question about gossiping, I shared some of my hurt and frustration over what I felt was unfair criticism from an unnamed congregant regarding church leadership. As I spoke, I watched as their eyes wandered, and they disengaged from the conversation.

How loudly does criticism ring in your ears? How many times are our conversations driven by responding to our critics? There’s a time and a place to deal with criticism, but most of the time, we tend to be like the local candidate: responding to critics no one else is hearing and not allowing our purpose and vision to drive us.

Don’t let your critics determine your message. Don’t let them drive you off course. Tune your ears to the audience that matters most: your Heavenly Father.

Consider the torrent of criticism that was leveled at Christ. The religious leaders despised Jesus for disregarding Sabbath law and claiming divinity, political leaders feared the sway Jesus had over the populous, and thousands of commoners turned their backs on Christ over his repulsive teaching that he was the bread of life they were supposed to eat. Despite this widespread criticism, Jesus stayed focused on his mission and teaching about the kingdom of God he was ushering in.

From time to time, Jesus responds to his critics, but even then, he usually turns the tables and asks them his own questions. His purpose, not his response, drives Jesus’ teaching. Jesus’ message is about the gospel: the kingdom of God that has arrived and the call to discipleship. He explains the life of the disciple, the cost of that discipleship, and the new community he is building. That’s not a message that was catered to his critics. That’s a message the Father gave him.

Leaders, don’t let your critics determine the playing field. Don’t let them determine your course. Learn from your detractors and grow. But do not let them shape what you do.

Make the clarion call of the gospel and the unique purpose God has given you drive your leadership and communication. Listen to him and let your voice reflect his call.

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Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash