Consumerism

10 Reasons Why You Might Leave Your Church

10 Reasons Why You Might Leave Your Church

It’s that time of year, when transitions happen: seasons close and new seasons begin. Maybe you’re a student who just headed off to college. Maybe you got a new job. Maybe your employer transitioned you. Those are some of the many natural reasons that you might have just left or might be leaving your church in the coming weeks.

Maybe you’ve left or are planning on leaving your church for entirely different reasons, though. Maybe your pastor is in a rut. Maybe the worship grates on you. Maybe you feel like you just don’t know anyone there any longer. Maybe you were injured by someone at the church and you tense up at the awkwardness of returning. Maybe you feel like you’re not getting spiritually fed there any longer. Maybe you are frustrated with how your church has handled Covid-19.

In this four-part series we will explore appropriate reasons for leaving a church, how to leave a church, how to choose a church, and how to join a church.

Let’s explore some of the most common reasons[i] people leave the church and reflect whether they are appropriate or not.

1) I feel disconnected

“The church doesn’t feel like home any longer. My friends have left and I feel like I’m at someone else’s church when I arrive.”

It’s not appropriate to leave: losing friends is hard, but we shouldn’t leave a church because our friends have left. Part of the joy of the church is that God brings together strangers into community. Do the hard work of starting a new small group or serving in a new ministry and God will surely bring about new relationships.

This Week’s Recommendations

This Week’s Recommendations
  1. The Liturgy of Social Media: This post is similar to my recent series on consumerism. In it TM Suffield shares ways the messages social media subtly shapes us with. He begins with this, “1. The instant is important: New matters. Whatever is newest matters most. Breaking news, new status updates from friends, this week’s bruhaha on the bird site.”

  2. A Letter from a Teenage Anti-Christian Skeptic: Randy Newman’s post highlights a surprising skeptic. God really is amazing, isn’t he?

  3. 4 Types of Itching Ears: Eric Geiger explains the difference between theological, lifestyle, ethical, and political itching ears. He says what makes them similar is this: “With all the itching ears, the starting point is the error. Instead of beginning with the Scripture, the person begins ‘with what they want to hear.’ Itching ears are never sanctified ears because instead of being conformed by teaching they curate teaching “for what they want to hear.”

  4. God Scares Me to Death: Ed Welch considers why speaking aloud the frightening truths of our hearts is beneficial. He concludes, “Your soul is close to the breaking point already. The one who now strikes fear in your heart is the only one who can assuage your fears and mend a soul in pieces.”

  5. Pride in the Name of Love: Jared Wilson on just how deep the disease of selfishness goes. “The Christian message begins with the stark realization that we are not the center of the universe. Like Leo in Titanic, we stand at the bow, spreading our arms to span the horizon, not realizing we’re headed for disaster. We proclaim, ‘I’m the king of the world!’ And then the ship sinks.”

Signaling Our Consumption

Signaling Our Consumption

I still remember how aghast my dad was when the Nike Swoosh became prominently displayed on apparel. “I can’t believe people are paying money to be walking advertisements!” he said in disbelief, “Nike should be paying them!”

No one bats an eye at such branding any longer. A brand stands not just for the product itself, it is a social signal, marketing not just the company, but the consumer.[i]

“Nowadays you shouldn’t have a company that is not contributing in some fashion or form or sense to a cause, because the people today who buy a product, they want to know what you have done for somebody else lately,”[ii] Fubu’s Daymond John reflected on his experience investing through Shark Tank.

Consuming Worship

Consuming Worship

The gathered people of God have always sung. Paul incorporates what appear to be familiar songs in his writing, John shares songs in Revelation, and the Psalms provided a hymn book for the early church. The earliest house church discovered in Syria dates to the early 3rd century AD and is covered with beautiful frescoes (one of which I include below). The church from the very beginning worshiped through art.

Gregorian chant developed in the 9th and 10th centuries and then expanded during the 16th century. The Reformers (with Martin Luther leading the way) wrote songs commoners sang along with.[i] A flood of church music was ushered in over the course of the 17th and 18th centuries as Baroque and Classical composers came on the scene and created timeless music for the church.[ii] But even with the advent of such a rich period of church music, it pales in comparison with what even the average churchgoer sings today. The pace of change has never been faster than it is today.

The church began to sing choruses in the 1970s, but they were catapulted to acceptance in the 1990s. Bands such as Delirious and Passion ushered in a new category of worship music that has dominated the Christian music industry and our sanctuaries for the past 30 years. Today we have access to worship music every waking hour through any host of devices and platforms.

How to Find a Home at (Almost) Any Church

How to Find a Home at (Almost) Any Church

When was the last time you were at church? Maybe it’s been years. Just thinking of your last time at church might make you recoil a bit. Perhaps it was the music, the awkward coffee hour, the rambling sermon.

But perhaps there is something in you that has you wanting to try it again. A friend you respect invited you. Or maybe you have heard clips from the pastor that resonated with you. Do you risk going again? Or will it be another awkward experience?

Or perhaps you have spent a fair amount of time in churches, checking out this one because your friends go there, another one because you connect with the music, and a third, because you like the children’s ministry there. But no church is your home.

God has made you to be part of the community called his church. He purposes for us to be part of a local family of followers of Jesus. That’s both for your good and for the good of the church. You ought to miss the church (and the church ought to miss you!). There the Word is preached, God is worshiped, the people serve one another and the community through their gifts, and the light of God’s salvation shines to the world.

But how do you make the church home? Here are some recommendations:

Welcome to McChurch

Welcome to McChurch

The days of being buried in the church where you were baptized and married are long gone for most. Ours is the age of the McChurch.

There are realities embedded in that truth that are good and bad alike. Every cultural location has its own blessings and challenges.

Believe it or not, I don’t think that the problems attendant with our consumerism are wholly bad. Imagine, for instance, how difficult it would to have your congregation embrace the truth that each member is part of a “royal priesthood” (1 Pet 2:9) in France circa 1200 AD. Why would that be so difficult? Because in that culture serfdom would have permeated the identity of the congregation. In a congregation of serfs, it may be easy for them to understand their identity as servants of Christ, but far more challenging for them to internalize the truth that they are priests.

Let’s consider then how our cultural identity as consumers impacts the way we engage with the local church. How does our McDonald’s world shape us?

Here are five statements that shape us as consumers:

1) “I’m broken, therefore I shop.” We look for churches that latch onto our deficits, insecurities, and offer fulfillment to those desires. The pulpit has always been a place where the timeless truth intersects with the cultural questions of the day, but that reality has been heightened in a consumer-driven world. The blessing of this is that the Word of God does offer healing for our brokenness. The problem is that we can be drawn not to the whole counsel of God, but only those portions that we believe help us at any given moment.

The Odd Concept of Church Shopping

The Odd Concept of Church Shopping

Church shopping is weird. It seems normal today. But it’s a very strange idea, when you think about it.

The notion of “church shopping” first became a possibility in 20th century America. Consider just how odd this concept would be in any other era of the church. The early church, spread out across the Mediterranean, met in homes. Individuals and families who came to believe that Jesus was Messiah and Lord would naturally go to the house church of their neighbors who told them the good news. And because of the church’s small size, there were very few homes in any given geographic region that met. The only hint of any competition we see in the New Testament is Paul addressing the Corinthian Church:

“For it has been reported to me by Chloe’s people that there is quarreling among you, my brothers. What I mean is that each one of you says, “I follow Paul,’ or ‘I follow Apollos,’ or ‘I follow Cephas,’ or ‘I follow Christ.’ Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?”[i]

Notice how different this is from our circumstance, though. Even while claiming the authority of different teachers (Paul, Apollos, Cephas (Peter), or Jesus), these groups were still meeting and worshiping together! Even so, Paul demolishes such divisions: there can be none but Christ who is the authority. But they were at least meeting under the same roof.

Today, doctrinal distinctions are only the beginning of our differences within the church (I am Reformed; I am charismatic; I follow Bethel; I am a Furtick guy).

I Shop Therefore I Am

I Shop Therefore I Am

Like it or not, we are consumers. Just as a peasant in feudal 13th century Normandy was, without a choice, a farmer, so we, 21st-century westerners, are consumers. That isn’t to say the 13th-century farmer or the 21st-century consumer is reduced to that identity, but it is undeniably a part of how the farmer or the consumer thinks, feels, believes, and acts.

That consumerism, then, profoundly shapes the way we view the world and our faith. We can’t help but view our faith with the eyes of consumerism. That might feel like an off-putting statement. I realize that consumerism is thrown around as a dirty word and our natural impulse is to distance ourselves from it.

But to be able to diagnose our hearts, we have to be willing to accept this reality about ourselves. Just as you would think it absurd for a medieval feudal peasant to demand, “farming may impact the faith of those around me, but it doesn’t impact my faith!” so we ought to have enough self-awareness to realize that consumerism impacts the way all of us in 21st century America interact with our faith.

Jamie Smith’s profound book, Desiring the Kingdom, lays out a captivating description of the shopping mall as seen through the eyes of a Martian. In doing so, Smith gives us new eyes to see the ways in which the mall speaks cultural truths.

Smith exposes three truths that the mall tells us about ourselves as consumers and I’ve added a fourth:

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Shame in the Public Arena: Stephen Freeman considers the sticky nature of shame. He urges us to stay far away from its use, “Shaming is easily justified by many. Whether it is doctrine, the Church, the state, the culture, whatever institution stands most in danger, shaming, like violence, is considered an effective tool in guarding the fort. However, it remains the case that shame cannot be used without causing damage to the one who uses it.”

  2. A Life on the Frontier: Chris Thomas tells his story about a conversation with his tattoo artist and a divinely ordained conversation. He shares, “My new friend proceeded to pour out her heartache. As she shaded in my arm, she filled in the gaps of yearning and seeking, of love gained and lost, of hopes she had, and anguish she lived with. And there, with this young woman holding a needle to my arm, I saw past the stereotypes and ink, and saw a frightened and broken girl who carries a fractured image of a God who formed and loved her.”

  3. Encourage and Be Encouraged: A great word from my friend Cassie Watson. I love her observation that we are to be those are called not only to encourage, but to be easily encouraged. She concludes, “Let’s be on the lookout today for the encouragement that God has prepared for us, so that his glory may abound among his people.”

  4. Tim Keller’s Wisdom on Navigating Social Media: Keller explains the sociological and psychological dimensions of new public square of social media. He concludes with advice that is so important for every Christian. His final point is, “Loosen the links between your ideas and your identity.” This post is indispensable for any Christian with a social media account.

  5. The Man on the Middle Cross Said I Can Come: Alistair Begg’s description of the thief’s welcome at heaven is funny and makes the gospel clear.

Why You Shouldn't Give Up on the Church

Why You Shouldn't Give Up on the Church

The blue screen of death: we’ve all experienced it. You’re plugging away on a paper or trying to load a website and whammo, your computer is toast. A few minutes and a hard restart later, you are back up and running, but not without consequences. You might have lost your train of thought or part of what you wrote. Ironically, I experienced the blue screen of death writing this post!

COVID-19 was a cultural blue screen of death. Work, school, and church rhythms were all disrupted. And all of them have changed as a result. People’s connection to church has changed. Nearly every pastor I’ve spoken with affirms that church attendance today is lower than it was 18 months ago.

For some, having the blue screen of COVID hit made them re-think how important church was for them.

More than a handful have decided that other spiritual practices can take the place of church. Jen Hatmaker recently shared about a conversation she had with her therapist where she came to the realization that “Church for me right now feels like my best friends, my porch bed, my children, and my parents and my siblings. It feels like meditations and all these leaves on my 12 pecan trees. It feels like Ben Rector on repeat. It feels like my kitchen, and my table, and my porch. It feels like Jesus who never asked me to meet him anywhere but in my heart.”