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10 Reasons Why You Might Leave Your Church

10 Reasons Why You Might Leave Your Church

It’s that time of year, when transitions happen: seasons close and new seasons begin. Maybe you’re a student who just headed off to college. Maybe you got a new job. Maybe your employer transitioned you. Those are some of the many natural reasons that you might have just left or might be leaving your church in the coming weeks.

Maybe you’ve left or are planning on leaving your church for entirely different reasons, though. Maybe your pastor is in a rut. Maybe the worship grates on you. Maybe you feel like you just don’t know anyone there any longer. Maybe you were injured by someone at the church and you tense up at the awkwardness of returning. Maybe you feel like you’re not getting spiritually fed there any longer. Maybe you are frustrated with how your church has handled Covid-19.

In this four-part series we will explore appropriate reasons for leaving a church, how to leave a church, how to choose a church, and how to join a church.

Let’s explore some of the most common reasons[i] people leave the church and reflect whether they are appropriate or not.

1) I feel disconnected

“The church doesn’t feel like home any longer. My friends have left and I feel like I’m at someone else’s church when I arrive.”

It’s not appropriate to leave: losing friends is hard, but we shouldn’t leave a church because our friends have left. Part of the joy of the church is that God brings together strangers into community. Do the hard work of starting a new small group or serving in a new ministry and God will surely bring about new relationships.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       9 Questions to Ask Yourself to Prepare for 2018: Scott Slayton with a thoughtful list. I like especially his questions: “What are my roles?” What two changes will make the biggest difference,” and “What two things do I need to stop doing?”

2.       How Your Husband Defines Romance: Thoughtful advice from Dennis and Barbara Rainey, "When a man is rejected often enough, he typically internalizes his anger, his hurt, and his disappointment until such time when the rejection drives him to one of several reactions—none of them are good." This ought not to be taken as license from men who feel rejected, but as good advice for wives who want to love their husbands well.

3.       Why Being Tough as a Leader Fails: Kerry Patterson is excellent on leadership and conflict. He reflects, "“I yell at my employees because it’s the only thing that works,” say a surprising number of leaders I’ve consulted with over the years. Parents often take a similar path with their kids. “They only respond to threats. So, I mostly threaten them.” Of course, when you interview the employees or the kids, they don’t subscribe to Hunter Thompson’s theory of leadership. That is, they don’t believe that the newest and hottest motivational tools are fear and loathing. They prefer respectful reasoning."

4.       Six Times It's Time to Quit Your Job: Jeff Gilmer at Vanderbloemen asks, " How do you discern whether this is just a season, or if it’s a bigger sign that you should be looking for your next opportunity?"

5.       Protecting Children from Abuse: Tim Challies interviews  Boz Tchividjian about his important new book, The Child Safeguarding Policy Guide. He begins the interview sharing this heartbreaking statistic, " Research has consistently found that approximately 1 in 4 females and 1 in 6 males will be sexually victimized before their 18th birthday. With 75 million children in the United States, this translates to almost 15 million children who will be sexually victimized over the next 18 years!"

6.       The Spread of Christianity: A shocking visual representation of the spread of Christianity around the globe.

10 Reasons to Leave Your Church

10 Reasons to Leave Your Church

It’s that time of year, when transitions happen: seasons close and new seasons begin. Maybe you’re a student who will be headed off to college in couple months. Maybe you got a new job. Maybe your employer transitioned you. Those are some of the many natural reasons that you might be leaving your church in the coming weeks.

Maybe you’ve left or are planning on leaving your church for entirely different reasons, though. Maybe your pastor is in a rut. Maybe the worship grates on you. Maybe you feel like you just don’t know anyone there any longer. Maybe you were injured by someone at the church and you tense up at the awkwardness of returning. Maybe you feel like you’re not getting spiritually fed there any longer.

In this four part series we will explore appropriate reasons for leaving a church, how to leave a church, how to choose a church, and how to join a church.

Let’s explore some of the most common reasons[i] people leave the church and reflect whether they are appropriate or not.