10 Reasons Why You Might Leave Your Church

It’s that time of year, when transitions happen: seasons close and new seasons begin. Maybe you’re a student who just headed off to college. Maybe you got a new job. Maybe your employer transitioned you. Those are some of the many natural reasons that you might have just left or might be leaving your church in the coming weeks.

Maybe you’ve left or are planning on leaving your church for entirely different reasons, though. Maybe your pastor is in a rut. Maybe the worship grates on you. Maybe you feel like you just don’t know anyone there any longer. Maybe you were injured by someone at the church and you tense up at the awkwardness of returning. Maybe you feel like you’re not getting spiritually fed there any longer. Maybe you are frustrated with how your church has handled Covid-19.

In this four-part series we will explore appropriate reasons for leaving a church, how to leave a church, how to choose a church, and how to join a church.

Let’s explore some of the most common reasons[i] people leave the church and reflect whether they are appropriate or not.

1) I feel disconnected

“The church doesn’t feel like home any longer. My friends have left and I feel like I’m at someone else’s church when I arrive.”

It’s not appropriate to leave: losing friends is hard, but we shouldn’t leave a church because our friends have left. Part of the joy of the church is that God brings together strangers into community. Do the hard work of starting a new small group or serving in a new ministry and God will surely bring about new relationships.

1. Help! I Don’t Like the Music at My Church: Matt Merker deals with a struggle of many. He asks, “How do you feel about the music at your church? Are you ever disappointed by it? Why?” I appreciate this piece of advice, “Often we feel distaste at a style of music because we are less familiar with it. Take a music appreciation class. Ask friends for album recommendations. Try to understand why other people enjoy the music your church uses. It may not become your favorite genre, but you might be surprised to find that your tastes are more flexible than you once assumed.”

2. I Just Can’t: Excellent post on when we can’t, but Christ can. Susan Lafferty says, “So, today, when I hear myself saying, ‘I just can’t,’ it’s a signal for me to check. And ask. Am I piling a to-do list on my life without seeking Him first? Am I trying to do this all in my own strength? Am I willing to keep in step with the Spirit, learning from Him?”

3. A Typesetting God: Melissa Edgington with a “it just so happened” story of God’s abundant goodness.

4. When It’s Time to Leave A Church: I wrote a series on this topic a couple of years back that I’m thinking about refreshing because it’s a significant issue right now, in the meanwhile, HB Charles offers solid advice on how and when to leave a church. I appreciated this point, “Consider how your transfer will affect others. Christianity is not about you. It’s about Christ and others. If your heart is right, you will feel the weight of how your potential move will injure or influence others. If you can leave without affecting anyone, you were not a good member.”

5. Transient 3: 6 months of storm chasing in a jaw-dropping 3 minutes.