Fear, Parenting, Family
John Beeson
The Trap of Fear-Based Parenting

She was one day old with the brightest, bluest eyes, a bald head, and the cutest little ears that stuck nearly perpendicular out of her head.

We checked out at the hospital's front desk and walked to our car with our baby girl in the car seat. As the safety officer checked out the security of our car seat base, a wave of fear came over me. Why would they let us take this beautiful baby home?

To be a parent is to experience fear. Will they be safe? Will they be bullied? Will they make friends? Will they like me? Will they survive a sexually confused world?

The Trap of Fear-Based Parenting
Recommendations, Christian Living, Church, Religion
John Beeson
This Week's Recommendations

  1. When bitterness becomes your religion, healing becomes heresy: Christopher Cook says, “But here’s the fruit of that belief system: the most anxious, entitled, bitter, and emotionally fragile generation in history. The world is not freer. It is more fractured. The culture of curated authenticity has not led us to peace, but to exhaustion.”

  2. Mortifying our desire: Keith Evans begins, “A young man once told me, “I never chose to feel this way. These attractions seem to have always been part of my life.” His honesty captures what so many experience—same-sex attraction often feels unchosen, even natural. But when we look to Scripture, we discover even that which may feel natural is not always good.”

This Week's Recommendations
Biblical Studies, Family, Suffering
John Beeson
Yesterday's Promise Might Be Today's Curse

Where would the bread come from?

Jacob heard his grandchildren’s whimpers as they rustled in the neighboring tents. He knew tears were running down their faces as their tiny empty bellies cried out.

Where would the next meal come from? The drought had devastated the crop.
Travelers from the North had spent the night. They carried bags of grain and shared news that the Pharaoh had storehouses of grain. They had met with his right-hand man, Zaphenath-paneah.

Seven years earlier, the Pharaoh was troubled. He couldn’t shake the nightmares. Skinny cows devouring fat cows, thin stalks of grain consuming fat stalks.

Yesterday's Promise Might Be Today's Curse
Christian Living, Gratitude, Relationships, Wisdom
John Beeson
Wanderlust and the Christian Life

“Oh the places you’ll go!” Dr. Seuss believed that the true achiever is an adventurer: “You’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air. Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.”

“We’re taking a vision trip to Florida,” our friends shared. Tired of the heat of the Sonoran Desert, they set out to find the perfect place for their family to settle. I’ve been part of several similar conversations. It’s healthy for couples to dream together. I’ve seen God weave those dreams into something that honors him and blesses others.

Wanderlust and the Christian Life
Recommendations, Family, Identity, Parenting, Relationships
John Beeson
This Week's Recommendations

  1. I’ve studied over 200 kids—here are six magic phrases that make kids listen to their parents: Good things to tell people, not just your kids. Reem Raouda says, “Parents are constantly searching for ways to get their kids to listen. But a lot of us focus too much on trying to get them to obey in the moment, rather than building genuine long-term cooperation.”

  2. Seven lies about our love lives: Eric Geiger shares, “’It’s just between us’: The world, especially in the West, paints relationships as just between the two people.

This Week's Recommendations
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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

  1. The Universe Demands a Cross: This post by Samuel James is brilliant and moving. Please read it. Here is a taste, “The sterilized metaphysics of Western spirituality, the liturgies of eat-pray-love, are sieves when it comes to the bloodiness of reality. I could, if I chose, close my eyes and insist on believing in the inherent goodness of man, the brotherhood of all, and the common destiny of all but the worst people. But I could not close my eyes hard enough to un-see the blood of vaginal delivery. The blood does not merely sit there. It calls out, just as the blood of Abel cried “out from the ground.” It calls out for reckoning.”

  2. 200 People Left Our Small Church: my friend Benjamin Vrbicek asks, “How does a pastor keep his heart from growing cynical when, over 350 weeks of pastoring the same church, I have lost an average of one person each week? And why are these congregants leaving our church anyway? What role might I play, even unintentionally, in sending sheep to what they perceive to be greener pastures?”

  3. An Open Letter to Death: Cindy Matson begins, “Dear Death, I’m writing to you today with a simple message: Stop boasting. I realize that you have some reason for pride. You have had your way with nearly every human to ever live. (Do Enoch and Elijah keep you up at night?)”

  4. True Humanism: Jesus, Marx, or Jenner? Bruce Ashford considers the options to Christianity in contemporary culture, “[T]hese thought leaders often pose as anthropologists who find Christianity dehumanizing and as tea-leaf readers who discern in the anfractuosities of history a movement toward a more “humanized,” Christ-less future.”

  5. Tom Brady in Retirement: Football fans out there will enjoy this.

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Johnny Depp and a Few Degrees Off Course

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Johnny Depp and a Few Degrees Off Course

Who wouldn’t want to be Johnny Depp?

And yet, all it takes is a quick scroll through the news to see that this man’s life inspires more pity than envy. Johnny Depp’s ex-wife, Amber Heard has accused Depp of domestic abuse. Depp has fought back with a lawsuit charging Heard with abuse. Whatever the truth of who initiated the violence, one can’t help but be sad for Heard and Depp. Physical endangerment, drug and alcohol abuse, and violent, vulgar words marked their toxic and tumultuous relationship.

It has also been reported that Depp managed to blow through $650 million of his $800+ million net worth. One can’t help but scratch your head and wonder how spending that kind of money in a decade is even possible. One gets the sense that Depp has become the living version of his big screen caricature: intoxicated and unmoored.

Who would want to be Johnny Depp?

I think of my daughter and her friends in the final months of their senior year. These are days where they are peppered with questions about their future, “What are your plans?” “Where are you going?” “What are you going to do next?”

Setting one’s sights even slightly off course can result in significant error down the path. Air navigation experts refer to the one in sixty rule, which means that for every degree a plane veers off course initially it will miss its target destination by one mile for every sixty miles flown. The results can be fatal.

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The Bible's Strange Reasons for Generosity: Giving is a Grace

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The Bible's Strange Reasons for Generosity: Giving is a Grace

Our doorbell rang – an odd occasion –I got up from the dinner table and walked toward the door. My step hitched halfway to the door as I realized it was likely a child selling something… too late. I opened the door and a high schooler stood in front of me, fundraising for his baseball team.

Being asked for money makes me uncomfortable.

There is something reasonable about being uncomfortable when we’re asked for money. The pang might speak to whether we are giving thoughtfully. But the reality is that far too often that twinge of discomfort points not to the worth of the cause, but the grip our hearts have on our money.

In 2 Corinthians, Paul tells us that God doesn’t wasn’t uncomfortable givers, he wants cheerful givers. The way to cheerfulness isn’t by willing ourselves there, it’s by reshaping our affections. In this series we’re going to unpack four transformative reasons about generosity and then unpack Paul’s instructions for how we ought to give.

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

  1. The Universe Demands a Cross: This post by Samuel James is brilliant and moving. Please read it. Here is a taste, “The sterilized metaphysics of Western spirituality, the liturgies of eat-pray-love, are sieves when it comes to the bloodiness of reality. I could, if I chose, close my eyes and insist on believing in the inherent goodness of man, the brotherhood of all, and the common destiny of all but the worst people. But I could not close my eyes hard enough to un-see the blood of vaginal delivery. The blood does not merely sit there. It calls out, just as the blood of Abel cried “out from the ground.” It calls out for reckoning.”

  2. 200 People Left Our Small Church: my friend Benjamin Vrbicek asks, “How does a pastor keep his heart from growing cynical when, over 350 weeks of pastoring the same church, I have lost an average of one person each week? And why are these congregants leaving our church anyway? What role might I play, even unintentionally, in sending sheep to what they perceive to be greener pastures?”

  3. An Open Letter to Death: Cindy Matson begins, “Dear Death, I’m writing to you today with a simple message: Stop boasting. I realize that you have some reason for pride. You have had your way with nearly every human to ever live. (Do Enoch and Elijah keep you up at night?)”

  4. True Humanism: Jesus, Marx, or Jenner? Bruce Ashford considers the options to Christianity in contemporary culture, “[T]hese thought leaders often pose as anthropologists who find Christianity dehumanizing and as tea-leaf readers who discern in the anfractuosities of history a movement toward a more “humanized,” Christ-less future.”

  5. Tom Brady in Retirement: Football fans out there will enjoy this.

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Farewell, Sweet Easter Lily

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Farewell, Sweet Easter Lily

Maundy Thursday, 4pm, 2018

“Angel, give me a call ASAP. We need to talk.”

This is not a text you want to receive from your DCS case worker.

We called immediately.

“We’ve decided to move Lily to a home closer to her half-sister.”

We hadn’t been notified that was even a possibility.

“Can we pick her up tonight?”

We talked the case worker out of that idea and into waiting until Monday.

We hung up the phone and sat in silence, shocked.

Jesus took the unleavened bread that Passover night and he gave it to his disciples, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”[i]

Our bond with Lily had come so naturally. She had been with us less than four months, but we were a mutual admiration society. After a couple of weeks of trauma-induced non-responsive behavior, she opened up (I reflected on that miracle here). It wasn’t long before her squeals and belly laughs filled our home. We kissed her, squeezed her, and sung and prayed over her.

We dreamed of the possibility of adopting Lilly. We didn’t know if that would be possible, but we knew that the case would be a long one. We would get to enjoy her for at least another year.

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Feeling the Resurrection

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Feeling the Resurrection

Christ is risen! He is risen indeed!

What emotions do those seven words invoke in you? How does the resurrection make you feel?

What if we could feel more like God? What if we could allow God into our emotional life? This series of posts invites us to consider Holy Week as revelatory to us not just in its spiritual impact, but also its emotional impact (perhaps next year we might walk through Holy Week and consider the ramifications it has for our bodies!).

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Maundy Thursday Recommendations

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Maundy Thursday Recommendations

1. Is Easter Believable? Des Smith begins, “Is Easter believable? That’s a question people have been asking for 2000 years. It may be a question you’re asking.”

2. Is Christianity Bad News for Women? Jen Oshman responds, “[T]he Christian culture in the first century then becomes this safe place and harbor for women. Women turned to Christ, and the Christian community has been predominantly female ever since.”

3. Faith Like a Beach House: Chris Thomas begins this moving extended metaphor this way, “The excitement ebbed away with my first breath. Now, to be honest, I’m not an overly excitable guy; I’m fairly reserved in my displays of emotion, but I had been undeniably excited, that much was clear. But not any more. A week or two earlier, my wife and I had purchased on old van, circa late 70’s, that had been permanently parked on a slab of concrete”

4. An Open Letter to a Christian Disheartened by Temptation: Don Carson and John Woodbridge begin, “That you are experiencing rounds of temptation is not as unusual as you might suppose. From the inception of the church believers have found this pilgrim way to be strewn with multiple temptations.”

5. Were You There? A beautiful rendition by the Three Mo’ Tenors.

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Feeling Good Friday

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Feeling Good Friday

My wife and I curled up on our daughter’s first big girl bed. Camille was three at the time and Soren was just one year old. We picked up where we were in their children’s Bible as we read to them before they slept. I flipped the cardboard page past the story of the Last Supper to the crucifixion.

Alongside the picture of Christ hanging on a cross, the author explained, “Then bad men who didn’t like Jesus put him on a cross.”

Angel and I looked at each other quizzically. That’s it? That’s the crucifixion story? I flipped the page where the story continued with the story of the resurrection of Christ. That didn’t help. The author hadn’t even explained that Jesus had died. And what was the reason he died? Because “bad men” didn’t like him?

We both realized we would have to go off script for this story. There was much more to share about Jesus’ crucifixion with our kids than the author thought was necessary.

As a culture, we cringe at sharing hard things with our kids. We brush over disappointment and sadness and shut down negative emotions in our children. For many, this is a learned behavior. We were taught that we were only allowed to share good things with our families.

It’s not surprising, then, that we have a hard time going to dark places with God in our lives, then. But to the heights of the rescue of Christ, we must also experience the valleys of his death. God invites us to walk with Jesus into the emotions of the cross. The crucifixion of Christ isn’t a static spiritual reality, but a physical, emotional, and spiritual experience God invites us into.

The Passion of the Christ hit box offices in February of 2004 to mixed reviews. Some criticized the movie for being overly graphic in its depiction of Christ’s death. Because of their understanding of the second commandment where God instructs his people not to make any graven images, other Christians were uneasy with a depiction of Christ on screen.

Whether you loved or hated The Passion of the Christ, if you watched the movie, I doubt you forgot it. The movie flattened me emotionally and spiritually. For that, I’m grateful.

As we approach Good Friday, I invite you to experience the cross again. As you read Matthew’s account, what emotions do you think Jesus was feeling? The thief on the cross? Mary? John? The Centurion?

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8 Reminders for Us this Holy Week

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8 Reminders for Us this Holy Week

How is your life shaped by Easter week? I mean other than the obligatory 3 pounds that is about to be added to your waistline courtesy of honey baked ham, deviled eggs, and Reese’s Peanut Butter cups (if you’re going to put on the weight, it might as well be good… not Peeps or generic jelly beans!)?

What reminders do the final week of Jesus’ life bring to our every-day lives?

The final week of Jesus’ life takes up a disproportionate amount of the gospel narratives. Approximately a third of the gospel accounts are devoted to the final week of Jesus’ life:

· 8 of 28 chapters in Matthew

· 6 of 16 chapters in Mark

· 5 of 24 chapters in Luke

· 9 of 21 chapters in John

Of the 52 weeks of our year, Holy Week is highlighted and underlined. On this week the other 51 weeks of our year hang, on this week, the other 51 are shaped.

How does the Holy Week shape our lives?

1) Palm Sunday reminds us how different the true King is.

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

  1. Why Pastors Must Talk About Race: Derwin Gray reminds us, “Our ethnicity is a gift from God reflecting his multifaceted wisdom. Biblical characters are not colorless or cultureless. They were people situated in real places, with real, image-bearing ethnicities, in particular cultures and times—just as we are.

  2. An Open Letter to a Distressed Sufferer: Mike Emlet offers gentle word to those who are hurting. He concludes, “I’ll close for now. Please know that your burden is my burden and I am privileged to walk alongside you. That’s another way in which you are not alone, embedded as you are in the body of Christ.”

  3. How the Gospel is Good News for Every Story: Scott McConnell with an insightful article on how the gospel speaks to every cultural worldview. He begins, “Missiologists often describe three worldviews different cultures exhibit: innocence-guilt, power-fear, and honor-shame. The innocence-guilt worldview believes being and doing right is what matters most. Much of what is considered right in these cultures has been codified in law, so following the law is very important. The power-fear worldview says overcoming fear by tapping into power matters most. Typically, that power is believed to be accessed from the spirit world. The honor-shame worldview says the honor and wellbeing of your group, tribe, or extended family matters most.

  4. Sing Your Heart Out at Church (Even if You Hate the Music): Brett McCracken begins, “I love church pipe organs and classical music. I prefer Victorian hymns and Stuart Townend songs over Hillsong and Bethel. I dislike “modern renditions” of old hymns, where the melody is slightly tweaked or a new chorus is added in between original verses. A simple piano, organ, or acoustic guitar accompaniment to “Be Thou My Vision” will do just fine.”

  5. Does God Love Me Just the Way I Am? Ligon Duncan answers the question.

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