Fear, Parenting, Family
John Beeson
The Trap of Fear-Based Parenting

She was one day old with the brightest, bluest eyes, a bald head, and the cutest little ears that stuck nearly perpendicular out of her head.

We checked out at the hospital's front desk and walked to our car with our baby girl in the car seat. As the safety officer checked out the security of our car seat base, a wave of fear came over me. Why would they let us take this beautiful baby home?

To be a parent is to experience fear. Will they be safe? Will they be bullied? Will they make friends? Will they like me? Will they survive a sexually confused world?

The Trap of Fear-Based Parenting
Recommendations, Christian Living, Church, Religion
John Beeson
This Week's Recommendations

  1. When bitterness becomes your religion, healing becomes heresy: Christopher Cook says, “But here’s the fruit of that belief system: the most anxious, entitled, bitter, and emotionally fragile generation in history. The world is not freer. It is more fractured. The culture of curated authenticity has not led us to peace, but to exhaustion.”

  2. Mortifying our desire: Keith Evans begins, “A young man once told me, “I never chose to feel this way. These attractions seem to have always been part of my life.” His honesty captures what so many experience—same-sex attraction often feels unchosen, even natural. But when we look to Scripture, we discover even that which may feel natural is not always good.”

This Week's Recommendations
Biblical Studies, Family, Suffering
John Beeson
Yesterday's Promise Might Be Today's Curse

Where would the bread come from?

Jacob heard his grandchildren’s whimpers as they rustled in the neighboring tents. He knew tears were running down their faces as their tiny empty bellies cried out.

Where would the next meal come from? The drought had devastated the crop.
Travelers from the North had spent the night. They carried bags of grain and shared news that the Pharaoh had storehouses of grain. They had met with his right-hand man, Zaphenath-paneah.

Seven years earlier, the Pharaoh was troubled. He couldn’t shake the nightmares. Skinny cows devouring fat cows, thin stalks of grain consuming fat stalks.

Yesterday's Promise Might Be Today's Curse
Christian Living, Gratitude, Relationships, Wisdom
John Beeson
Wanderlust and the Christian Life

“Oh the places you’ll go!” Dr. Seuss believed that the true achiever is an adventurer: “You’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air. Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.”

“We’re taking a vision trip to Florida,” our friends shared. Tired of the heat of the Sonoran Desert, they set out to find the perfect place for their family to settle. I’ve been part of several similar conversations. It’s healthy for couples to dream together. I’ve seen God weave those dreams into something that honors him and blesses others.

Wanderlust and the Christian Life
Recommendations, Family, Identity, Parenting, Relationships
John Beeson
This Week's Recommendations

  1. I’ve studied over 200 kids—here are six magic phrases that make kids listen to their parents: Good things to tell people, not just your kids. Reem Raouda says, “Parents are constantly searching for ways to get their kids to listen. But a lot of us focus too much on trying to get them to obey in the moment, rather than building genuine long-term cooperation.”

  2. Seven lies about our love lives: Eric Geiger shares, “’It’s just between us’: The world, especially in the West, paints relationships as just between the two people.

This Week's Recommendations
, ,

Feeling Palm Sunday

, ,
Feeling Palm Sunday

One recent study has identified 27 emotions.[i] That might not sound like a lot until you try to start naming emotions. What emotions have you felt in the past week? Joy? Sadness? Anger? Frustration? What else comes to mind?

The enemy numbs our emotions. Most men I meet who are struggling with an addiction are numbed emotionally. Few are aware of the emotional numbness. It’s not uncommon for men to be unable to identify only a few emotions. An emotionally numbed person often struggles to identify any emotion at all. A common marker of emotional numbness is the response, “I don’t know.” “How are you doing?” “I don’t know.” “How did that make you feel?” “I don’t know.”

Worse still, someone struggling with an addiction often believes feelings are the enemy. It is their unhealthy appetites that got them into this situation, after all. “If I could only stop desiring,” the addict thinks, “then I would be free.”

, ,

The Anti-Hero's Final Lesson: Love

, ,
The Anti-Hero's Final Lesson: Love

Do you know what Jonah’s final recorded words were?

Were they words of repentance? Words of gratitude? Words of praise?

Nope. They were words of spite. The last words that Jonah speaks are, “Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die.”[i]

Those are not words motivated by suffering or grief. Those are words that come straight out of the hateful heart of our anti-hero, a prophet who cannot bear that God would have compassion on a city he deemed worthy of destruction and upset that the God who provided a plant for shade for him would allow it to wither.

The compassion of God knows no bounds. He orchestrates the salvation of a city that every Jew would have longed to see the destruction of. A city that was not only a military threat to the Israelites, but whose pagan worship was a stench to those loyal to the one true God.

It is the Hero who has the final say in Jonah. These final words reveal God’s love and call us to this deep compassion:

“You pity the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night. And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?”[ii]

The book of Jonah closes with a glimpse of the compassionate heart of God. Within the final verses of Jonah we see some incredible truths about the depth and power of God’s love:

God’s love is attentive:

Like a caring spouse or parent, no detail is left uncared for by our compassionate God. God’s compassion for his stiff-necked prophet is so deep, he grows a weed up over Jonah to shade him from the sun even as hatred boils in Jonah’s heart for those God loves. God’s love is for the big things (saving a city of 120,000 from destruction), but it also for the small things: Jonah’s discomfort in the heat, and even for the animals. Isn’t that final statement “and also much cattle” beautiful? God cares not just for the people of the city, but for the cattle of the city. God’s love extends to his creation.

, , , , ,

This Week's Recommendations

, , , , ,
This Week's Recommendations

  1. What Do I Do When I Can’t Seem to Get Over My Grief? Alasdair Groves provides a nuanced answer. He asks, what do we do with “grief that just does not relent and it aches and I did not expect it to ache this long and it seems to still be aching and I’m not sure why. I cannot seem to get over it. I want to start by saying getting over it is maybe not the best way to capture the biblical response to grief.

  2. What is Dispensationalism? Keith Mathison with a helpful explanation of an influential theological camp in America. At the heart of the difference between dispensationalism and reformed theology is this, “Dispensationalism differs from Reformed covenant theology in a number of ways, but the most significant is this idea of two peoples of God.”

  3. You Might Be a Stingy Forgiver If… Cindy Matson begins with this, “Sometimes anger just feels so good, doesn’t it? In the moment we’re letting the other person finally get their comeuppance, we find pleasure, just as we do in all sins…”

  4. When You Feel Small, Look to the Cosmos and the Cross: Philip Yancey concludes, “A God beyond the limits of space and time has a boundless capacity of love for his creations, no matter how small or rebellious they might be. As it happens, that message is best expressed not from a whirlwind, or burning bush, or smoking mountain—but rather person to person, through Jesus and his followers.”

  5. Death and Taxes: I particularly appreciated the first half of this This American Life episode that focuses on hospice care.

, , ,

Church, Thank you for your Generosity

, , ,
Church, Thank you for your Generosity

It was a Friday a few months back. Angel and I wound down a long day of ministry and climbed into our respective cars. We got on our phones to debrief the day and make plans. Our kids were out for the night and our connection group started in an hour and a half. “Want to meet up at Harvest for a meal, so we don’t have to throw something together for dinner?” I asked. “Yes!” she said. We embraced in the parking lot, strolled to the restaurant, and sat down to spend some time together before our connection group.

We caught the eye of a dear couple from our church at the restaurant and waved. They were with another couple, but came over and gave us hugs after we had ordered. “We don’t want to intrude, but we wanted to come over to ask if you would let us pay for your meal. Would you let us have the blessing of blessing you?” I’ve never been asked that question! We were amazed. What a kindness. What a mercy. “Yes, and thank you so much,” we replied.

, , ,

Lessons from an Anti-Hero: Speak

, , ,
Lessons from an Anti-Hero: Speak

Jonah doesn’t get much right. Not much at all. God called him to arise and go to Nineveh. Nope and nope. Jonah ran the opposite direction. But after God gets Jonah’s attention, Jonah ever-so-tentatively obeys God’s call.

The third call God placed on Jonah’s life was that he “call out against” Nineveh “the message that I tell you.” After being spit up by the fish and told a second time to “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it the message that I tell you,” Jonah finally heads to Nineveh. We aren’t told what God tells Jonah to tell the Ninevites. The story moves ahead and we find Jonah wandering the streets of Nineveh, speaking these words, “Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown.”[i]

We don’t know whether Jonah delivered this message once or multiple times as he walked through the city. The text is ambiguous about that. What was the tone Jonah delivered the message with? Was he compassionate? Fiery? Earnest? Certainly none of these. If we look ahead one chapter, it is clear that Jonah’s obedience isn’t whole-hearted. After he delivers the message, Jonah sits perched on an overlook, anticipating the destruction of the city. If there was any pep in Jonah’s step as he delivered his message, it was anticipatory malice. He hoped that God would bring destruction, that salt would be poured on the wound of Nineveh’s disobedience.

So let’s picture the scene of Jonah’s evangelistic walk through Nineveh.

, , ,

This Week's Recommendations

, , ,
This Week's Recommendations

  1. Don’t Date that Guy: Melissa Edgington shares sage advice she offers her 17-year-old daughter. “If I could offer one piece of advice to women who are dating, it would be this: don’t go on even one date with a man you already know you shouldn’t marry. Every marriage begins with a first date. Feelings of flattery can quickly lead to feelings to infatuation which can quickly lead to feelings of love.”

  2. Imagining Your “Well Done”: Reagan Rose reshapes advice from leaders about living a life directed toward what you want on your tombstone to living a life directed toward what you hope Jesus says to you. He says, “There’s one thing that always bothered me about the practice of writing your own eulogy. It emphasizes living a life motivated by what other people will say about you. When, instead, we should be living for an audience of One.”

  3. How to Spot Political Manipulation and Give it No Quarter: Bruce Ashford offers some helpful tools to go along with this assessment, “In the political sphere, manipulation seems to be the soup du jour. One might even conclude that some political leaders have elevated the logical fallacy to the level of their own literary genre. Thus, it is important for us to be aware of the ways in which our hearts and minds can be “stolen” by political manipulation.”

  4. As If God Ever Made an Atlantic Wide Enough: Tim Challies quotes Theodore Cuyler, who says, “There are some of us who have known what it is to drink bitter draughts of affliction, and to have the four corners of our house smitten by a terrible sorrow. At such times, how hollow and worthless were many of the stereotyped prescriptions for comfort!”

  5. Earthrise, Then and Now: Beautiful footage of the earth rising and setting on the moon.

, , , ,

Sex, Sexuality, and Your Identity in Christ

, , , ,
Sex, Sexuality, and Your Identity in Christ

A week and a half ago, my wife Angel and I had the opportunity to share with our Student Ministries about sex and sexuality.

Here is the outline of our talk:

  • Why is sex complicated?

  • What our sexuality has to do with trusting God.

  • What do we say to “Love is love”?

  • Why our identity is found in our sainthood, not our sexuality.

  • How our sexuality is for our joy and our discipleship.

  • Q&A

, , ,

Lessons from an Anti-Hero: Go

, , ,
Lessons from an Anti-Hero: Go

Jonah was the only prophet called to people out of Israel.[i] That fact makes it easier to sympathize with Jonah’s resistance to God’s call to go to Nineveh. “I didn’t sign up for this,” Jonah must have thought. “No one else has ever been asked to do this!”

In his own book, Jonah is the anti-hero: a reminder of what we are not to do. God gives Jonah four directives in his book and Jonah (initially at least) rejects all four. The first two calls are coupled together. “Arise and go!” God twice tells Jonah. Last week we examined God’s call for Jonah and us to arise and we reflected just how difficult it is to swim against the cultural current and arise. But arise we must.

And Go. We must go into the mess. We’re called to step into the entanglements of lives around us. It’s easier to keep the lids on the trash cans, but you can’t get into the lives of those around you unless you start taking off some lids.

Some opt-out because of the mess. Others opt out because they don’t think they’re qualified. We think that explaining Christianity is best left to the experts. Better to leave it to the pastor with the theological degree to explain it than mess it up myself.

, , , ,

This Week's Recommendations

, , , ,
This Week's Recommendations

  1. How Shohei Ohtani Made Baseball Fun Again: This whets my appetite for baseball again. Ohtani is so much fun: a starting pitcher and a designated hitter, he is a unique talent who is a joy to watch. Daniel Riley begins his story this way, “Not since the days of Babe Ruth has one of baseball's greatest hitters also been one of its finest pitchers. Now, the reigning MVP is opening up for the first time about his singular place in modern baseball.”

  2. Rejoice in Suffering: Guy Richard with a powerful observation, “[Jesus] could not be there [in Colossae] physically, and, as a result, the Colossian church could not witness the sufferings of Christ for themselves in person. Paul’s sufferings, therefore, made up for this “lack” by showing the Colossian Christians the afflictions of Christ in his own suffering.

  3. Toward a Better Discussion About Abuse: Kevin DeYoung brings some much-needed clarity to a thorny topic. He says, “[T]he current discussion about abuse—as it is being played out online, in articles, in books, and in churches—gets quickly twisted and tied up in knots.”

  4. Three Obstacles that Hold Leaders Back (and How to Overcome): Steve Brown has several strong points in this article. In telling us to choose what we are listening to he says, “You have both the choice and ability to shut down unhealthy mindsets. As Dallas Willard writes in Renovation of the Heart, “The ultimate freedom we have as human beings is the power to select what we will allow our minds to dwell upon.”

  5. After Disruption: Andrew Roycroft reflects on what Covid means for the church in the West, “This means that regathering is not a sifting through the shrapnel of hard experience to reconstruct what we once had, but fashioning new materials which speak our past in plaintive and appreciative tones. That reconstructive work can prepare the church for the new adventure of being a people regrouped, reorganised, and reorientated towards what God would do in our present, building on our broken past, and holding fast to our certain future.”

, ,

Every Week My Dog Protects Us From the Amazon Delivery Driver: On the Danger of Learning the Wrong Lesson

, ,
Every Week My Dog Protects Us From the Amazon Delivery Driver: On the Danger of Learning the Wrong Lesson

I’m working from home today. It’s a great working environment: calm and focused. Our dog lies peacefully at my feet. Until a vehicle dares to enter our cul-de-sac, that is. Then our 25-pound Australian Labradoodle leaps to the window, both paws on the window sill, and turns into a ferocious beast.

The Amazon delivery guy pulls up to the curb, jumps out with a package in tow, and places it at the front door. Our dog howls as though a cadre of gunmen have encircled our property. This is no sociable bark to his neighborhood doggie friends: this is a protect-the-house-at-all-costs-bay. The deliveryman hustles back to his van and pulls out of the cul-de-sac.

My dog settles back down at my feet. He’s protected the home from another invasion. In his mind, he’s batting a thousand. 849 attempted burglaries all thwarted by his fearsome presence.

Sign up to get The Bee Hive delivered to your inbox and receive a free 50 Books That Changed My Life (and Might Change Yours, Too) download!