“We are currently experiencing the largest and fastest religious shift in US history. It is greater than the First and Second Great Awakening and every revival in our country combined...but in the opposite direction.” This is the conclusion of the largest and most comprehensive study of dechurching in America by sociologists Ryan Burge and Paul Djupe. In The Great DeChurching, pastors Jim Davis and Michael Graham unpack why and how over the past twenty-five years, forty million of those who formerly attended church no longer do so.
Jerusalem, Israel
3:15 am, April 13
I sat up in bed to a wailing sound I had never heard before, but knew immediately: an air raid siren. Our building rattled to the booms of interceptors from Israel’s missile defense system hitting their inbound targets. I pulled back the curtains and watched as sprays of light streaked the sky.
Iran launched 170 drones, 20 cruise missiles, and 120 ballistic missiles at Israel in retaliation for Israel’s purported attack on an Iranian embassy in Syria.
Nothing is more iconic to the Tucson landscape than the saguaro. The emblematic cactus is to the Sonoran Desert what the palm tree is to Miami: hard to imagine without it. Saguaros typically live between one hundred and fifty to one hundred and seventy-five years, not sprouting its trademark arms until around thirty to seventy years of its life and growing to around fifty feet tall.
For those Sonoran Desert natives, we intuitively know where saguaros thrive. They love the rocky (both granite and volcanic) soil at the foothills of the five beautiful mountain ranges that surround Tucson.
I drove a little manual 2005 Scion xB for about eight years. It finally gave out after 230,000 miles. I loved that little car. It was fuel-efficient and required minimal maintenance. But it is undeniably close to the least powerful car on the road. I’m pretty sure that on its specs, next to 0-60mph, it says, “Eventually!”
Unless I was lined up against someone from a nearby retirement community, I was the last car to reach the speed limit coming off a stoplight. Unsurprisingly, more aggressive drivers with more powerful vehicles tended to treat my little Scion like a safety cone on the road, more like an obstacle than a fellow traveler.
In the past post we considered the biblical priority of leading in our homes before stepping into leadership callings outside of our home.
When I was asked to speak to our Mom’s Matter group on leading well in the home I was a bit intimidated. I felt far from equipped to speak as a man to women on the topic of leadership. And so, I did the only thing I could think of: I asked wise, godly women who were also great leaders. Starting with my wife, I began to listen to the advice my female friends offered on leadership in the home and beyond.
I had the blessing of just returning from an amazing trip connecting with our brothers and sisters in India.
It’s always impossible to put into words what it is to see a glimpse of God’s miraculous work. India is one of the most challenging places for the gospel in the world. Christians are suffering in ways it is hard to imagine from our Western context.
Do you know what Jonah’s final recorded words were?
Were they words of repentance? Words of gratitude? Words of praise?
Nope. They were words of spite. The last words that Jonah speaks are, “Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die.”[i]
Those are not words motivated by suffering or grief. Those are words that come straight out of the hateful heart of our anti-hero, a prophet who cannot bear that God would have compassion on a city he deemed worthy of destruction and upset that the God who provided a plant for shade for him would allow it to wither.
The compassion of God knows no bounds. He orchestrates the salvation of a city that every Jew would have longed to see the destruction of. A city that was not only a military threat to the Israelites, but whose pagan worship was a stench to those loyal to the one true God.
It is the Hero who has the final say in Jonah. These final words reveal God’s love and call us to this deep compassion:
“You pity the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night. And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?”[ii]
The book of Jonah closes with a glimpse of the compassionate heart of God. Within the final verses of Jonah we see some incredible truths about the depth and power of God’s love:
God’s love is attentive:
Like a caring spouse or parent, no detail is left uncared for by our compassionate God. God’s compassion for his stiff-necked prophet is so deep, he grows a weed up over Jonah to shade him from the sun even as hatred boils in Jonah’s heart for those God loves. God’s love is for the big things (saving a city of 120,000 from destruction), but it also for the small things: Jonah’s discomfort in the heat, and even for the animals. Isn’t that final statement “and also much cattle” beautiful? God cares not just for the people of the city, but for the cattle of the city. God’s love extends to his creation.
Jonah doesn’t get much right. Not much at all. God called him to arise and go to Nineveh. Nope and nope. Jonah ran the opposite direction. But after God gets Jonah’s attention, Jonah ever-so-tentatively obeys God’s call.
The third call God placed on Jonah’s life was that he “call out against” Nineveh “the message that I tell you.” After being spit up by the fish and told a second time to “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it the message that I tell you,” Jonah finally heads to Nineveh. We aren’t told what God tells Jonah to tell the Ninevites. The story moves ahead and we find Jonah wandering the streets of Nineveh, speaking these words, “Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown.”[i]
We don’t know whether Jonah delivered this message once or multiple times as he walked through the city. The text is ambiguous about that. What was the tone Jonah delivered the message with? Was he compassionate? Fiery? Earnest? Certainly none of these. If we look ahead one chapter, it is clear that Jonah’s obedience isn’t whole-hearted. After he delivers the message, Jonah sits perched on an overlook, anticipating the destruction of the city. If there was any pep in Jonah’s step as he delivered his message, it was anticipatory malice. He hoped that God would bring destruction, that salt would be poured on the wound of Nineveh’s disobedience.
So let’s picture the scene of Jonah’s evangelistic walk through Nineveh.
Jonah was the only prophet called to people out of Israel.[i] That fact makes it easier to sympathize with Jonah’s resistance to God’s call to go to Nineveh. “I didn’t sign up for this,” Jonah must have thought. “No one else has ever been asked to do this!”
In his own book, Jonah is the anti-hero: a reminder of what we are not to do. God gives Jonah four directives in his book and Jonah (initially at least) rejects all four. The first two calls are coupled together. “Arise and go!” God twice tells Jonah. Last week we examined God’s call for Jonah and us to arise and we reflected just how difficult it is to swim against the cultural current and arise. But arise we must.
And Go. We must go into the mess. We’re called to step into the entanglements of lives around us. It’s easier to keep the lids on the trash cans, but you can’t get into the lives of those around you unless you start taking off some lids.
Some opt-out because of the mess. Others opt out because they don’t think they’re qualified. We think that explaining Christianity is best left to the experts. Better to leave it to the pastor with the theological degree to explain it than mess it up myself.
Your co-worker has just shared with you that her husband was just diagnosed with cancer. You press in and provide a listening ear. But as the conversation closes, what do you say? Nothing? That you will pray for her family? Or do you ask if you could pray with her right then?
I’ve done all three, and there are circumstances where all three are wise and godly responses. But usually praying for a friend with a request then and there is the best response. There have been far too many times when I have not prayed with someone who needed prayer or told them I would pray for them later when the most loving thing I should have done for them was to pray with them right there.
Offering to pray for someone in the moment can feel awkward. Your mind races: do they even believe in God? What god do they believe in? Are they going to be offended if I ask?
Why is it worth the risk to pray for someone in need? And how do you do it?
When we pray for someone, we demonstrate Christianity is so much more than mere platitudes.
One of the most frequent responses I’ve observed on Facebook from unbelievers when encountering difficult situations with others is their promise to “send good thoughts.” The statement itself concedes that it is nothing more than a platitude. What does it look like to “send good thoughts”? Will the one who promises to send them follow through? What happens when those “good thoughts” are sent? Will they have any impact? On all counts: no, and assuredly not. When we say “I’ll pray for you” for many non-Christians, they hear a promise as empty as “sending good thoughts.” By actually praying with them then and there, you are demonstrating that you are not just offering a sentiment, not just dropping an empty platitude, but you will follow through.
When we pray for someone, we demonstrate we have really heard our friend.
Praying out loud with your friend shows that you have really heard them. As you ask God to intervene in the situation and you echo back specifics they mentioned and reflect to God emotions they may not have even stated out loud, your friend can hear your attention to them.
1. Most Americans Embrace Spirituality and Religion, Even Atheists: Also of note is the large gap between spirituality and religion. Aaron Earls reports, “Yet even among the quarter of Americans who do not identify with a religion (atheists, agnostics, and those who say they are “nothing in particular”), most still describe themselves as a spiritual person.”
2. Characteristics of Churches That Keep Young Adults: This is a great addition to the two posts I recently wrote on raising teens to love the church. Aaron Earls begins with the importance of sincerity. He says, “When teenagers see church members as insincere, they are more likely to drop out. Relatively few young adults say the church they attended as a teenager was insincere, but dropouts say this more often.”
3. One of the Ugliest Sights in the World: Tim Challies begins with a scene we’ve all witnessed, “One of the ugliest sights in the world is that of a child who rules over his parents. We have all seen it, I’m sure. We have seen parents who tiptoe around their child’s cries, their child’s demands, their child’s outbursts of anger. They will do whatever he dictates, give whatever he commands. We look on with horror, knowing they have set their child on a path to destruction.”
4. Brothers, We Should Stink: Thabiti Anyabwile explains that godly pastors live among the sheep. He says, “Do you know how to tell the difference between sheep and wolves in sheep’s clothing? Sheep eat grass; wolves eat sheep — it doesn't matter how prettily they are dressed.”
5. What is Christianity? This is a simple and clear three-minute visual presentation of the gospel.
1. The Most Important Election in US History: Keith Mathison gives us some helpful perspective. He begins with this quote, “We have had many important elections, but never one so important as that now approaching…. The republic is approaching what is to be one of the most important elections in its history.”
2. The Answer to Loneliness: Andrew Blunt begins, “Loneliness is a serious and growing problem. The stats are pretty heartbreaking. One study found that 9 million people in the UK are always or often lonely—that’s just slightly more than the population of London or the entire population of Australia.”
3. 3 Apologetic Approaches to Reach the Next Generation: Jacob Haywood sums up his three approaches this way, “The next generation should see that the gospel applies to their lives, answers their biggest questions, and fulfills their deepest longings.”
4. How Big Should You Think? And How Big Should You Act? I appreciate the way Eric Geiger considers this. He begins, “Some leaders seem to think small and act big. There is not a large vision that captivates them, grand plans that motivate them, or an overwhelming sense of awe for the opportunity in front of them. Yet at the same time they seem to act big. They hold tightly to their positions, enjoying that others view them as and and that they are able to make decisions that impact others. Their plans may be small, but they act large.”
5. The Science of Male and Female: What does God teach us about gender through nature? Steven Wedgeworth begins, “Recent breakthroughs in human genetics have made it clear that humanity is fundamentally dimorphic, which is to say, human nature is irreducibly male and female.”
What’s the perfect size for a church? 50? 500? 5000?
You could make the argument for why each of these church sizes is optimal. At the church of fifty, you will have an intimate relationship with your pastor. You might be in the same small group, he will be there for your child’s graduation, and when you come to a worship service, you’ll probably know everyone (except that one new family) by name. You’re going to be able to step into leadership roles and shape the direction of the church even if you don’t have a lot of experience in leadership. You feel the blessing of the fact that your church is making a deep impact in the lives of a handful of people and you know their stories.
At the church of 500, the lead pastor may still know your name if you’re involved, but there will be opportunities for your kids to get to know kids their own age, a higher quality of musicianship by the band, and more diverse opportunities to serve. You’re not going to get wrangled into teaching the children’s lesson at the last second because no one else showed up that Sunday. Even though you probably don’t have a close relationship with the lead pastor, you have a close relationship with one of the pastors or directors, and feel known and loved by them. You love that your church has a big heart for the community and is making a significant impact in a couple areas of their ministry focus. Your neighborhood is better because your church is there.
At the church of 5,000, you never have to worry about bringing to your friend on a Sunday…
1. Americans Opinion of the Church Continues to Fall: Aaron Earls reports that "Today, 36% of Americans say they have a great deal or quite a lot of confidence in the church or organized religion—an all-time low." Included in the report is a break-down on gender and generational opinions as well as the most significant young people leave the church: a political disagreement.
2. Blood Calls to Blood: Samuel James reflects on how the messiness of God's redemptive crushes the siren's call toward the fuzzy spirituality of America. He begins, "This is embarrassing to admit, but here goes. If I were not a Christian, I’m pretty sure I would be a Unitarian Universalist, or something like one... For me, this exercise is hypothetical. For a lot of people, it’s where they actually are. A whopping 72% of Americans believe in heaven; 58% believe in hell. That 14-point gap is one of the most seductive places I can imagine. Who wouldn’t sell all they had to live in a world of just heaven, no hell?"
3. 6 Ways You Might Be Sabotaging Your Team: Daniel Darling asks important and pointed questions for us to consider. One of the six is "neglecting intentional encouragement." He says, " You’d be surprised how even seemingly confident employees or volunteers go home wondering, Do they like me here? Do they value my work?"
4. 4 Promises for Same-Sex Attracted Christians: Helpful and biblical wisdom from a partner on the journey, Christopher Asmus. He concludes, "If you’re a Christian struggling with same-sex attractions, know that you are not defined by your sin. Your identity is not determined by your temptations. “Embrace who you really are” by embracing Jesus Christ and your new life found in him (2 Corinthians 5:17) and enjoying the freedoms Christ purchased for you with his blood."
5. Nature's Uprising: This video by Thomas Blanchard comes with my guarantee: if it doesn't wow you, you can give me a topic to write a post on and I’ll do it!
1. Millennials Tried to Kill the Mall, But Gen Z Might Save it: Jordyn Holman with the surprising report that Gen Zers don't just go to the mall more, but they like going to the mall! She says, " Today’s teens interact differently with stores than their older siblings and Gen X parents before them..."
2. John and Jesus Didn't Think You Could Be a Christian Without the Church: Fleming Rutledge says that, "the overwhelming emphasis in John is not on individuals but on the organic connection that Jesus creates among those who put their trust in him."
3. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas on Abortion and Eugenics: This is a long, but well written article on the history of Margaret Sanger, abortion, eugenics, and racism. And it's by an unusl author: Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.
4. God's Inner Work: Susan Lafferty with a wonderful reflection on the hidden and beautiful work of God.
5. 9 Types of Effective Evangelism: Aaron Earls offers 9 ways to reach out that studies prove are effective. One of the nine is inviting a neighbor to a service project: " Half of all unchurched (51%) say they would likely come to a community service project organized by a local Christian church."
6. Faithful Evangelical Men Are Resisting Porn: Buried in new data about porn usage is this encourage fact: men who attend church regularly are resisting porn at much higher rates than those who don't attend church.
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