Christian Living

Breaking Shame's Power

Breaking Shame's Power

I was eleven years old and our Little League season had just come to an end. At my insistence, my parents dropped me off at the mall with my teammates to hang out. Not long after the parents had left, my friends hatched a plan: they wanted to go to see the hit new movie Die Hard 2. A knot formed in my stomach as the plan was hatched. Die Hard was rated R. I’m not sure I had seen a PG-13 movie. I told them that we couldn’t see it because we were too young. My friends scoffed: “I go to rated R movies all the time! They never stop me.” I shrunk back. We paid and walked in.

I felt sick through the whole movie and afterward. When my parents picked me up and asked what we did, I doubled down with a lie, “we just hung out.” I felt sicker.

Even after asking for forgiveness, the cloud over my heart remained. Guilt was gone. Shame remained.

Shame has power.

Shame is one of the most destructive forces on this earth. Shame is destructive because it attacks our spiritual and emotional life.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. An Open Letter to Those Nearing Retirement: John Dunlap’s letter is simple and rich. “For years I have given my retiring patients two simple rules for retiring well: Wake up every morning knowing what you are going to do that day. Go to bed every night knowing that someone else was helped.”

  2. The Man in the Mirror: My friend Dustin DeJong’s post on shame is excellent. He says, “When I force my eyes to meet their reflection, it’s not my eyes I see. It’s my shame: what I’ve done and who I’ve become. It’s what these eyes have seen, these ears have heard, these hands have done. There are decades of regret behind those eyes. It’s the feeling of 20+ years of sexual struggles.”

  3. Wounds in Beauty Glorified: Mitch Chase responds to the question: “Why did Jesus’ resurrected body bear wounds of his crucifixion?” His third reason is, “Third, the visible marks on Jesus’s risen body were not evidence of failure but were a display of victory.”

  4. Harry Emerson Fosdick and the Spirit of American Liberalism: You likely don’t know Fosdick’s name, but Kevin DeYoung shares why it is worth knowing. A drift to spiritualism and liberalism is nothing new. Fosdick preached, “’God keep us,’ he exhorted in the last line of his sermon, ‘intellectually hospitable, open-minded, liberty-loving, fair, tolerant, not with the tolerance of indifference as though we did not care about the faith, but because always our major emphasis is upon the weightier matters of the law.’”

  5. Grief is Not the Enemy: Travis writes, “Like love or joy or hope, grief is not less than an emotion, but it is also much more. And certainly, love and joy are tightly connected with grief. We cannot truly grieve something or someone unless we love them first and take joy in them. It would be natural to think of grief as the opposite of joy, or the absence of love, but that’s not quite right.”

  6. Fantastic Fireflies: Fantastic indeed!

Can’t We Just Be the Church?

Can’t We Just Be the Church?

“Don’t go to church, be the church,” urged an influential Christian leader whom I respect.

I understand his call to action. If you must choose between attending a weekly service or demonstrating Christ through service, please calls the church to perform, please opt for the latter. Sacrificially loving your Christian brothers and sisters is preferential to attending Sunday morning service out of obligation. It’s better to joyfully steward our God-given gifts rather than sliding in and out of the back row every Sunday. Caring for the orphan, widow, and the jobless outweighs downing an (admittedly delicious) New Life Bible Fellowship donut and coffee.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. A Call to Raise Daughters Wise to Domestic Abuse: Excellent article by Jeremy Pierre. He begins, “’If your future husband ever lays a finger on you, you better tell me so I can kill him.’ This is the extent to which many dads address abuse with their daughters. It feels effective because it’s simple, protective, and tough. And it also feels kind of awesome to say.

  2. Loving With a Limp: Chris Thomas writes, “Maybe, like Jacob, an encounter with God will leave you living life with a limp, serving with a limp, worshiping with a limp; loving with a limp.”

  3. Cords Have Memory: Lauren Washer likens the memory of electrical cords with our inner lives. “Our inner lives have a similar type of cord memory. We inherit ideas, values, and belief systems from our families, faith backgrounds, and cultural surroundings. Many of these are good and right. But sometimes, the way we’ve always done things or thought about things, isn’t good.”

  4. Bend Me Toward the Light: Glenna Marshall says, “When I find myself spending copious amounts of time pursuing distractions, my prayer has become one of crooked house plants and branchy, horizontal azaleas: “Lord, bend me toward the Light.” Distractions are just that—distractions. We aren’t meant to spend our time and mental margin on things that do not feed our souls. We’ll wither up and die without spiritual nourishment, especially if our flesh is yearning for what the world offers”

  5. The Anatomy of an Apology: Justin Hale responds to this question, “I recently did something hurtful to a family member. Shortly afterward, I said I was sorry but the person didn’t seem to accept my apology. I’ve tried to reach out but they are giving me a bit of a “cold shoulder.” They still seem bugged about what I did. I feel like I’ve done my part and now it’s up to them to accept the apology. Should I be looking at this differently?”

Hurt Feelings

Hurt Feelings

Feelings matter. Even if we are certain that truth is firmly in our grasp, it isn’t appropriate to use it like a whip on the back of the skeptic.

In a desire to restore the balance of perceived power, contemporary Western culture has offered a wider berth for those who have historically wielded less power. Our culture declares that our privilege determines whether or not we are allowed to share “our truth.” Intersectionality doles out chips based on a group’s power. Those who come from advantaged portions of society (take me for instance: a white, cisgender (using our culture’s verbiage), male, heterosexual, Christian) are given fewer chips in order to balance the conversation. In this framework, those with more chips are given more freedom to speak “their truth,” even at the expense of others’ feelings, while those with fewer chips are expected to prioritize others’ feelings over “their truth.” Do you see the double whammy inflicted upon those with fewer chips? Unfortunately, this is how our culture has decided to balance truth and love.

How do we navigate this balancing act as Christians? How do we speak the truth in love?

Unbelief Isn’t a Sin, or is it?

Unbelief Isn’t a Sin, or is it?

God wouldn’t hold it against me if I don’t believe in him?, would he? Given the complexities of our world, how could he?

Is unbelief a sin? Surely not!

Culturally, we don’t take unbelief very seriously. We tend to think of unbelief as a neutral characteristic, if not even something that might show a particular strength of character. We might consider someone who doesn’t believe as being sharp minded, thoughtful, or not gullible.

Many Christians even diminish the nature of unbelief. I recently read a book by a popular pastor who claimed that Jesus didn’t call his followers to believe, but rather to love. Jesus calls us to love, but he also calls us to believe.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Why Do Billionaires Want to Live Forever: Tim Challies begins a deep reflection with this question, “Why is it that billionaires always seem to want to live forever? Why is it that the 1% of the 1% almost always seem to veer from their core businesses into attempts to prolong their lives indefinitely?”

  2. Why Mainstream Scholars often Differ with Evangelical Pastors on the Gospel: Having attended a mainline seminary, I resonated with George Sinclair’s reasoning here. Near the end of the post he shares, “There is a rich, thick, deep history and literature of Christian thought which shows not just the truth and reasonableness of miracles, but the importance of them for a wide, humane, and beautiful understanding of the world—one which leads to human flourishing.”

  3. Fertility is Not a Disease: D Eaton writes, “This desire to have sexual pleasure without constraint has culture suppressing the truth of not only biblical revelation but also science. To justify the extermination of the child, we must classify the child in the womb as either not a human in its natural course of existence or not alive. It is impossible to deny either scientifically, yet logic and truth must be sacrificed on the altar of sexual autonomy.”

  4. The Last Gift My Father Gave Me: This is an excellent piece from Mike Cosper. He shares how his father’s death allowed him to finally experience the gift of grief.

  5. Your Money Will Trick You: Trevin Wax reminds us, “Jesus says ‘Watch out!’ and ‘Be on guard’ as if there’s a silent, stealthy enemy creeping up on an unsuspecting person, ready to pounce. We like to think of wealth and possessions as inanimate objects, helpful to us if we use them correctly, but basically neutral.”

Why God Makes Sense in a World That Doesn’t by Gavin Ortlund

Why God Makes Sense in a World That Doesn’t by Gavin Ortlund

On the one hand…how can there be an all-powerful and all-good God in light of wars and pandemics?

On the other hand… how can there be no God when I experience the beauty of a sunset or the warmth of a loving embrace?

Look around our world, does it make more sense that there is an omnipotent God in control or does it make more sense that our world is a result of natural processes?

In his book Why God Makes Sense in a World that Doesn't, Gavin Ortlund asks this pointed question: is naturalism or Christianity the more likely option to make sense of the world we live in? Ortlund begins with this question: "Suppose Hamlet is searching for Shakespeare. He cannot find him in the way he might find other characters in the play, like Ophelia or Claudius. So where should he look?" The rest of Ortlund's book tries to answer that question. He says, "if God is real, he will be both infinitely close and infinitely far."

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Why Do Billionaires Want to Live Forever: Tim Challies begins a deep reflection with this question, “Why is it that billionaires always seem to want to live forever? Why is it that the 1% of the 1% almost always seem to veer from their core businesses into attempts to prolong their lives indefinitely?”

  2. Why Mainstream Scholars often Differ with Evangelical Pastors on the Gospel: Having attended a mainline seminary, I resonated with George Sinclair’s reasoning here. Near the end of the post he shares, “There is a rich, thick, deep history and literature of Christian thought which shows not just the truth and reasonableness of miracles, but the importance of them for a wide, humane, and beautiful understanding of the world—one which leads to human flourishing.”

  3. Fertility is Not a Disease: D Eaton writes, “This desire to have sexual pleasure without constraint has culture suppressing the truth of not only biblical revelation but also science. To justify the extermination of the child, we must classify the child in the womb as either not a human in its natural course of existence or not alive. It is impossible to deny either scientifically, yet logic and truth must be sacrificed on the altar of sexual autonomy.”

  4. The Last Gift My Father Gave Me: This is an excellent piece from Mike Cosper. He shares how his father’s death allowed him to finally experience the gift of grief.

  5. Your Money Will Trick You: Trevin Wax reminds us, “Jesus says ‘Watch out!’ and ‘Be on guard’ as if there’s a silent, stealthy enemy creeping up on an unsuspecting person, ready to pounce. We like to think of wealth and possessions as inanimate objects, helpful to us if we use them correctly, but basically neutral.”

Dreaming about Heaven

Dreaming about Heaven

“How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?” This absurd question is attributed to William Chillingworth[i], who was mocking the penchant of some medieval theologians for expending their energy debating meaningless topics.

It has famously been said, “Don’t be so heavenly minded you’re no earthly good.”

We’ve spent a number of posts discussing heaven. Do these conversations and dreaming about heaven diminish our earthly usefulness?

Is talking about heaven the equivalent of debating how many angels can dance on the head of a pin? What does it have to do with your life? With my life?

Dreaming about heaven is no worthless theological debate over angels on the head of a pin! Our anticipation of heaven has the power to radically reshape our lives to be more like Christ, looking toward the joy set before us.[ii]

Dreaming about the new heavens and the new earth bends our hearts toward God’s heart. The most significant positive impact dreaming and anticipating heaven has on us is shaping our hearts to value that which lasts. Heaven is why we can't seek ultimate fulfillment in this life. And heaven is why so many things that seem like a waste from our perspective are of immeasurable value.