I was eleven years old and our Little League season had just come to an end. At my insistence, my parents dropped me off at the mall with my teammates to hang out. Not long after the parents had left, my friends hatched a plan: they wanted to go to see the hit new movie Die Hard 2. A knot formed in my stomach as the plan was hatched. Die Hard was rated R. I’m not sure I had seen a PG-13 movie. I told them that we couldn’t see it because we were too young. My friends scoffed: “I go to rated R movies all the time! They never stop me.” I shrunk back. We paid and walked in.
I felt sick through the whole movie and afterward. When my parents picked me up and asked what we did, I doubled down with a lie, “we just hung out.” I felt sicker.
Even after asking for forgiveness, the cloud over my heart remained. Guilt was gone. Shame remained.
Shame has power.
Shame is one of the most destructive forces on this earth. Shame is destructive because it attacks our spiritual and emotional life.