Parenting

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. How to 'Disciple' Your Kids into Church Dropout Status: Jared Wilson shares six ways that, by going along with cultural Christianity, we de-church our kids. His fifth way is by church hopping, He explains, "But families that hop from church to church as kids grow or tastes change or disappointments accumulate train their kids to treat church not like a family one commits to through thick and thin but like a consumeristic product one can always throw away for a perceived upgrade. And this is just one step away from deciding church in general isn’t useful."

2. Why the Current Loneliness Epidemic is a Gospel Opportunity: Sam Kim wonders, "Perhaps our culture’s current crushing opioid crisis, porn addiction, and the rise of Tinder are all part of this holy searching gone horribly wrong."

3. The Celebrity Pastor We've Never Known: Tim Challies helps us open our eyes to another kind of pastor who ought to be famous, "When we remember those men who most faithfully pastored us, we probably think of more than their sermons. And there’s a reason for that. The faithful pastor serves his people faithfully not just in the most public element of his ministry, but also in the most private."

4. 4 Theological Questions Your Church Has About Regathering: Kent Annan and Jamie Aten ask four timely questions: “1) Is not going back to church asking out of fear instead of faith?” “2) If I wear a mask, am I acting out of fear than faith?” “3) Is it rude to ask people to wear masks to church?” “4) Should we stay united in Christ even when we disagree?”

5. A #2020 Confession: Molly Montana’s prayer is simple and poignant.

6. One of the Most Misused Words Today: Craig Troxel tells us how we misuse the word heart today.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. Confessions of a Recovering Political Idolater: I resonated with Jared Wilson's post. He says, "I have to stay aware of them, because when I am not consciously and intentionally directing my gaze to the glory of Christ, I can very easily get swept up in the winds of political discourse. I can get too animated by the rise and fall of those who cannot thwart God's purposes. I can get too angry or too disappointed in or too fearful of brothers and sisters who don't think about these things exactly like I do."

2. 4 Types of Churches in Dealing with Politics: Eric Geiger reflects on how churches tend to engage politics. Most importantly, we need to be those who can be offended and changed when the Bible confronts even our political ideologies. “I heard Tim Keller say in a sermon about the Bible: ‘If the Bible really came from God, and wasn’t the product of any one culture, wouldn’t it offend every culture in some way?’ He was not speaking about the Republican and Democrat parties/culture, but I believe the quote applies.”

3. How to Avoid Becoming the Leader Everyone Resents: Helpful advice from Carey Niewhof. He begins, "There is no level of leadership that exempts you from your weaknesses. You can lead one of the largest organizations in the world. You will still have weaknesses and frustrate your team. In fact, higher levels of leadership don’t mask your weaknesses, it exposes them."

4. Still Growing: Melissa Edgington always puts simple truths elegantly. Here she reflects on 21 years of marriage, "When I stepped through the back doors of the church back in 1999 and saw that precious boy that I loved standing at altar, I had no idea that knowing him was going to make me more like Jesus. We have grown. And we’re just getting started."

5. 2 in 5 Churchgoers Regularly Attend Multiple Churches: And four other church trends. An eye-opening read. Aaron Earls reports. In more encouraging news, "Two-thirds of churched adults (65%) and 82% of practicing Christians say they attend church because they “'enjoy doing it.'”

6. For Passion’s Sake: My friend, Anne Imboden just launched her blog at Glory in the Grind. You should subscribe. Her storytelling and sense of humor are great. Here she reflects on her kids and the worthwhile cost of fostering their passions, “It’s both inspiring and exhausting to have a 5 year old who loves to cook. Fueling his fire and encouraging his dream means I need to learn to share my kitchen and resign to the fact that it will never truly be clean again. It means I need to include him on my menu planning, letting him choose recipes from his own cookbooks and kits. It means I need to start preparing dinner at least 30 minutes earlier than usual to allow time to show him each step, wait on his slower motor skills, and clean up mistakes. It means I need to die to myself a little and let go of control, for the sake of supporting his passion… He is capable, and I need to give him opportunities to prove it. (Dinner was delicious.)”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. How Early Christianity Was Mocked for Welcoming Women: Michael Kruger reminds us that while only one-third of Rome’s citizens were women, women comprised two-thirds of the early church, “And it is this reality that sets the stage for the critics of early Christianity. If they were looking for a way to undermine this new religious movement (and they were!) then the involvement of women is an easy target.”

2. God is Not a God of Second Chances: Provocative article by Aaron Wilson. He begins by explaining, "A second-chance gospel reveals half of the good news—the half that says Jesus died for sins. The fact that God is merciful is a beautiful truth. But if Jesus only died to forgive sins, humanity is still in trouble."

3. Why Procrastination is About Managing Emotions, Not Time: Do you struggle with procrastination? You'll find this helpful. New psychological studies are revealing that, "The task we’re putting off is making us feel bad – perhaps it’s boring, too difficult or we’re worried about failing – and to make ourselves feel better in the moment, we start doing something else, like watching videos."

4. Homeschool Surge: Given the difficulty of online education, I’m not surprised that there is a big surge in homeschooling during this strange year. Esther Eaton at World reports, “A May survey found 40 percent of parents compelled to school at home because of COVID-19 said they’d be more likely to homeschool in the future.”

5. Who is Most Generous? Not Who You’d Expect: John Lee reflects on Barna findings that the three most generous cities in the US are located in one state. What state do you think it is? “Christians in these cities give on average $17,977 to charity annually.” Meanwhile, other cities give just over $3,300 a year. Lee then dives deep into what most powerfully motivates us to give.

6. How Presidential Debates Have Changed: A lot is packed into this six-minute video.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. Kids Spending 500% More Time in Front of Screens During Quarantine: James Lang suggests that, “The trouble with excessive screen time is that it eclipses healthy behaviors that all children need.”

2. Will Hell Really Last Forever? This is a thoughtful and thorough response by Greg Morse. I find this part of his argument most persuasive: "The answer is clear enough in Revelation 16:8–11, where people under God’s judgment 'gnawed their tongues in anguish and cursed the God of heaven for their pain and sores. They did not repent of their deeds.'”

3. 4 Disturbing Trends in Global Persecution: Please pray for Christ's church. The fourth in Aaron Earls's report is, "Christianity is on the verge of disappearing in Iraq and Syria. The presence of terrorist groups and conflicts in both Middle Eastern countries have led to the rapid decline of the Christian populations. Before the extended conflicts began, Iraq and Syria had 3.7 million Christians. Now that has dropped to around 946,000, according to Open Doors."

4. Here come the Skinny Cows: Mark Deymaz and Harry Li with a disturbing forecast of dramatically decreased giving to churches in the coming years. They explain four factors that might lead to a decline of up to 30% drop in giving. One of the four factors is a decrease in giving to religious institutions, "Individual giving in general is trending down, the report said, but religious giving is being hit by other factors like the growing disaffiliation of Americans with religious groups."

5. 4 Principles for Talking to Your Kids About Sex: Julie Lowe’s short article is on point. Her final point is, “Fourth, talk soon. Be the one who shapes your child’s view on sex and sexuality. It is far better to proactively inform your child’s view on a subject, than to have to go back and debunk an inaccurate view.”

6. Hawaii's Forest Eater: Stunning up close footage of the devastating 2018 volcano in Hawaii.

How to Raise Kids Who Are Best Friends

How to Raise Kids Who Are Best Friends

Do your kids like each other? Nothing like COVID-19 to test those limits, right?

Every parent wants their children to be friends. One of the best gifts of my childhood was my friendship with my sister. The gift of a playmate, of someone to walk through life’s ups and downs with you, is incalculable.

Over time I’ve realized that the gift of my friendship with my sister, Sarah, has paid enormous dividends in my life. It was that friendship that taught me how to navigate conflict, how to apologize and reconcile, how to comfort, and how to navigate long-distance friendship, and through changes and stresses in life. It’s not that I’ve navigated any of those things particularly well (in fact, even in the past year I can point to ways I’ve navigated several of those things particularly poorly!), but my relationship with Sarah has always been a touchstone of learning and growth.

Looking back on my friendship with Sarah, I realize that is where I learned to be a husband as well. Whatever ways I’ve been a good husband can be attributed to a foundation of friendship with my sister.

But how do you raise children who are friends? Many parents are exasperated by the constant bickering, the endless disputes and competition between siblings.

I thought it would be beneficial to get my kids’ perspective on it: a view from the trenches, as it were.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. Every Movie Cliche About Teenage Dating is Basically Wrong: Chris Bourn begins, "As told by Hollywood, the humiliation of simultaneously being a teenager and being unable to get a date is one of the deepest, most difficult emotional traumas a person can endure." Bourn argues that the truth is quite the contrary, that teens who don't date are, on average, more socially adept and psychologically healthy.

2. Christianity Continues to Lose Numbers in US: New Pew Research report shows important data. Headlining this detailed study is that, "Christianity has dropped to 65% of the U.S. population, while the religiously unaffiliated or “nones” grew to 26%."

3. I Finally Wrote My Resignation Letter: Chris Thomas pens a poignant reflection on exhaustion and disappointment in ministry. "I think I entered ministry too early. Puffed up by praise, I charged forward on the toxic confidence of a vapour made of 90% gifting and 10% character. I was 18 and ready to change the world. I knew what was wrong with the church, what was wrong with other Christians, and what was wrong with, well, pretty much everything. Now here I am 25 years later. I’m 43 years old, and I’m not sure what I know anymore."

4. Are You Too Concerned with Your Child's Behavior? Tedd Tripp asks important questions about our motivations in parenting. One of several important points is, "Many idols of the heart will pollute our interventions with our children. These idols will not motivate us to act for the well-being of our child, but for our own reputations."

5. Occupation Growth and Decline since 1970: This is a fascinating infographic. Some unsurprising occupations on this graph and some surprising ones, too.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       The Average American Hasn't Made a Friend in Five Years: Oh my, this is disturbing news in a new study commissioned by Evite. And the friends we do have don't appear to be that close: "So what about the friends we already have? According to the survey, the average adult has 16 current, active friendships. Of those friends, three are considered friends for life, five are worthy of a one-on-one hang out session, and eight are generally well-liked but not enough to hang out with in person all that often."

2.       What Are Your Sexpectations? Expectations regarding couples' sex lives can be destructive. I appreciate this article's comparison of cultural verse biblical expectations for sex.

3.       5 Keys to a Great Apology: Carey Niewhof begins, " Two of the most powerful words a leader can utter are simply “I apologize”."

4.       Things Stay-at-Home Mothers Aren't Allowed to Talk About: Melissa Edgington concludes this thoughtful post with this perfect conclusion, " Emerald made me a card this weekend, saying she loves it that I “didn’t want a job.” I have never specifically talked with her about being a stay-at-home mom, but at seven years old she is already understanding a little bit of my heart when it comes to our family. I don’t know if she’ll wind up being the PTO President or a CEO, but if she chooses to stay home with babies, I pray that she will find in it the complete joy that I have. Because this world needs kind and artistic and smart and funny women like her in the kitchens and the laundry rooms and the carpool lines, and there is nothing at all wrong with her giving herself to her family, undivided."

5.       Vorticity: Mesmerizing cloud formations.

What We've Done Well and Poorly as Parents (According to Our Kids)

What We've Done Well and Poorly as Parents (According to Our Kids)

We have two wonderful teenage kids. Camille is 16 and Soren is 14. It’s hard to believe that adulthood is just a few years off for both of them. With their elementary years not too far in the rearview mirror and adulthood not too far ahead of them, we asked our kids if they would share what they thought we have done best and where we could improve.

What follows is a Beeson living room chat. I hope by listening in you can benefit from both our highlight and blooper reels.

Their list at times converges with our perspective of our strengths and weakness and at times diverges. I didn’t ask for a certain number of positives and negatives and didn’t edit their list, but I did add comments after each item.

What our kids said we did best (their words are in bold):

1.       Trusting us and giving us freedom (you’re not helicopter parents).

I’m so glad to see this on their list. We’ve given far less freedom than some parents, but we have been intentional in these past few years to release our kids in order to prepare them for adulthood. If they merely perform a certain way at home but immediately stop behaving that way once they leave for college, then our parenting was in vain.

2.       Supporting us in our passions.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       4 Mistakes Parents Make With Technology: Jeff Henderson, " The reason many kids are addicted to technology is because their parents are."

2.       A Parenting Roadmap for Social Media: Jeff and Wendy Henderson begin by reminding us, " Great parenting isn’t controlling. Great parenting is coaching."

3.       4 Reasons to Stop Grumbling: Cass Watson says that simply not grumbling is a powerful witness: " Because complaining is so rampant in the “crooked and twisted generation” around us, our cheerfulness will make us witnesses to the truth. "

4.       Americans Vastly Overestimate LGBT Population: There have been a few studies on this. It's important to right-size our understanding of different populations. " A recent Gallup survey found that on average U.S. adults believe 23.6% of their fellow Americans are gay or lesbian." However, " In Gallup’s most recent survey on the subject, 4.5% of Americans personally identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender."

5.       A Liberating Verse About God's Will: Eric Geiger encourages us to rethink God's will in light of Eden, "God’s desire was for Adam and Eve to not eat from one tree, but there was a lot of freedom beyond that. God did not say, ‘On Monday and Wednesday mornings you eat from the apple tree and on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, you eat from the avocado tree but only during odd months.’"

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       You Might Be a Snowplow Parent if... Jen Goins reflects on a trip to Minnesota that has her thinking about how we can easily mess up the objective of our parenting. Two of her six mistakes are: "A snowplow parent shovels away responsibility," and "A snowplow parent clears the path of negative consequences."

2.      Longer Than: This is masterful writing from Jennie Cesario about the how love grows as marriage ages. You won't be disappointed.

3.      What Does the Book of Job Tell us About the Unborn? Jared Wilson suggests that Job 31 tells us three things about the unborn. 

4.      7 Encouraging Reasons to Pray: Colin Smith reminds us what an incredible privilege it is to pray and what God does when we pray... and I love how he concludes this article. What an incredible perspective of heaven!

5.      The Wake of InnovationFrom the tractor to talking robots, society has feared innovations. But usefulness usually overcomes resistance. Is today any different from the past?

6.      The Rat Apocalypse in New Zealand: A rat apocalypse? Sounds Like real-life Halloween. Yikes.