Identity

The Power of Ownership

The Power of Ownership

One of the many disappointing realities about the American political landscape is the lack of ownership. It’s not just politicians who shirk ownership – we all do. When my microphone sounds wonky, my mind immediately goes to the sound tech wondering if he will remedy his mistake, not to the more likely responsible party: myself. I probably moved the microphone or pulled the cord.

Of course we know that avoiding ownership usually backfires. Our esteem falls for those who dodge responsibility. But even still, the temptation to blame shift is strong in all of us.

Our Desires Lead to Death

Our Desires Lead to Death

“I am what I feel” sums up expressive individualism.  Our culture frames identity around discovering what our deepest desires and longings are. To know our longings is to know ourselves.

 

In Billie Eilish’s 2023 song “What was I made for?” written for “Barbie,” Eilish reflects on the confusing journey to understand her feelings. It’s this journey, she assures herself that will lead to her happiness.

Do You Have a Graduate in Your Life?

Do You Have a Graduate in Your Life?

We are feeling all the feels. Our youngest, Soren, is about to graduate from high school. This has been a season of reflection for Angel and me and a season of preparation. In our children’s ministry hallways at New Life next to each age level we have containers that represent how many days of influence remain for you as a parent before your child launches. I recognize, of course, that there is no finish line for parenting, but one’s influence and role changes significantly in each season.

 As we look back on our parenting, the most important things we taught our children were who God is and who they were.

Exchanging Intrusive Thoughts for God-talk

Exchanging Intrusive Thoughts for God-talk

Intrusive thoughts are unwelcome and hard to control. I can remember having intrusive thoughts from the time I was a child. When we drove, I often felt the compulsion to press one foot down on the floor between the telephone poles (and yes, I also hopped over the cracks in the sidewalk). At other times, when walking alone, I remember the persistent thought, “He’s watching you.” I would search the bushes and trees for the one my mind told me was watching me.

A New Identity for the New Year

A New Identity for the New Year

As youngsters grow into teenagers and teenagers into young adults, it is more likely that roles become substitute identities. The amorphous blob of elementary children separates into distinct groups—the geeks, jocks, thespians, musicians, punks, emo kids, mean girls, preps, and church kids. What teenage movie doesn’t riff on the interplay among these groups? Despite what they say, every teen longs to embody a label. We want to be able to make sense of who we are and where we fit in this world.

I remember one summer when my parents took our family to a one-week camp in New Mexico. During the day, we divided into our respective age groups. I went off with the eleven- and twelve-year-olds.

The Gift of Your True Face (With a Free Gift)

The Gift of Your True Face (With a Free Gift)

When our son was a child, he had an intense fear of anyone in a mask. I’ve since learned that there is actually a diagnosis called masklophobia for those who have an extreme fear of those in masks. Such a fear is understandable. A child might subconsciously wonder, “why is this person wearing a mask?” “Who is the real person behind the mask?”

In a world where trust is fragile, masks heighten the challenge of earning trust.

And yet we wear them all the time. The little boy slips on a Spider-Man mask because he wants to pretend that he is strong and fast. The little girl puts on a crown because she wants to imagine that she is beautiful and powerful.

How To Flee the Trap of Lust

How To Flee the Trap of Lust

Let’s be honest: the standard Jesus calls us when it comes to lust can feel profoundly unfair. It is God, after all, who created us as physical beings. It is God who created us as sexual beings. It is God who gave us desires. God gave us libido. And God gave us an imagination.

And in all this, God has created us in his image! God is the being with the most powerful desires in the universe! What kind of image-bearers would we be if we did not also have desires?

In recognizing that God created us as desiring beings, we acknowledge that God has called us to direct those desires to himself and his righteousness.  

Could lust send me to hell?

Could lust send me to hell?

Our culture toys with lust. We know the power of sexual desire so well that we use it to sell hamburgers, cars, and beer. I mean, seriously. Step back and consider how crazy that is. We take things that are already attractive and then add sex to them to sell them better! Burgers, sports cars, and beer! We crave these things on their own! And yet advertisers are still compelled to add an ingredient to make them even more desirous: sex. On the flip side, you never see sex requiring anything else to sell it. Your local strip club isn’t trying to lure people in with their mouthwatering hamburgers.

Does Jesus tell us we “can’t get no satisfaction”? Our struggle against lust for something greater

Does Jesus tell us we “can’t get no satisfaction”? Our struggle against lust for something greater

According to one survey, more than 75% worldwide agree that adultery is wrong. The vast majority of us agree: adultery hurts marriages and children.

And yet, simultaneously, our culture encourages us to pursue our desires and fulfill our passions. There are cracks in that approach. The #metoo movement uncovered the devastating impact of some men living out this sexual philosophy.

Jesus pointed to the crack in this moral pavement two thousand years ago. He says that our sexual offense, our sexual sin, doesn’t begin with the action but with the heart:

Am I Good Enough?

Am I Good Enough?

How good am I? Am I good enough?

We all wrestle with these questions in different ways and at different times. We reflexively answer these questions through comparison. How happy am I? How generous am I? How successful am I? How smart am I? We consider our family, friends, and neighbors and make an evaluation.

But if the age of social media has taught us anything, hasn’t it taught us how destructive comparison is? Hasn’t it shown us that comparison reveals the basest version of ourselves? Hasn’t social media taught us how fragile and finicky the rubric of comparison is?