What do you want for dinner tonight?
What do you want to watch?
What do you want to do this weekend?
Do you ever feel exhausted by making decisions? More than a few times, Angel and I have come home from hard days at work and looked at each other, “Would you please make a decision about what we are going to eat for dinner?” Researchers note that “by the time the average person goes to bed, they’ve made over 35,000 decisions and all of those decisions take time and energy.”[i] In a recent study on the impact of decision making published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, researchers found that, “the more choices a person made the more likely they were to give up, lose willpower and struggle with endurance.”[ii]
Choice making is core to who we are in the contemporary western world: [PB1] we wouldn’t dare give up our ability to choose our spouses, careers, homes, and how many children we have. And yet, choice drains us. Netflix has thousands of shows available, but they’ve realized the tremendous value of curating just the right next show for the viewer to watch. It has been estimated that Netflix spends $150M annually on this personalized recommendation system. Why would they spend that much money to funnel the viewer’s choice to a few shows? Because it is estimated that they keep over $1B in annual revenue with that investment.[iii]
Netflix has realized that while the consumer might say they want unhampered choice, their actions prove that they would prefer for Netflix to lead them in their choice-making. Many leaders haven’t learned Netflix’s lesson: the best leadership isn’t democratizing decision-making.
Every leader wants to be the type of leader Jesus was: a servant leader. Take a look at any of the myriad books or articles on servant leadership, and you will find an emphasis on empowering team members, collaboration, dialogue, and care. Who doesn’t want to work for a boss who parks in the farthest parking spot and picks up trash on his way in? Every godly boss desires to have their employees know they care for them and ensure they have a voice at the table.
Recently, I was listening to yet another podcast on servant leadership. I nodded in agreement as the speaker shared common principles. And then he stopped me in my tracks. “Let me say something that might surprise you. One of the most important ways a leader can serve an organization is by making decisions. Everyone wants to have a voice, but one of the best ways to be a servant leader is to make the hard decisions.”[iv]
I sat on those words for weeks. We are in a particularly heavy decision-making season at New Life. We are launching a new campus, bringing on new staff, making renovations on our property, and shepherding through some hard discipline issues. More than a few times, I’ve felt tapped out on the decision-making front. But a leader has to love their people enough to make decisions.
I’m blessed to serve alongside a co-lead pastor, Greg, who is a fast decision-maker. My tendency can be to fact-find a decision to death, to research, and to listen to more voices. All of that activity may sometimes simply be putting off what I need to do as a leader: make a decision. Noting also that to not make a decision, of course, is to make a decision.
Hard decisions are hard for a reason. People disagree. Sometimes strongly. If you’ve listened well and dug deep, you may be able to resolve some of the disagreement, but you might not be able to. The best way you can serve your organization is not by deflecting decisions to others, but by taking ownership and move forward.
Everyone wants to make the decision until it’s their responsibility. When my dad was a child, my grandparents got their first dog. A heated conversation around the dining room table ensued on who got to name the dog and what that name would be. My dad, drowned out by his three siblings said he had a name for the dog. Unheard, he raised his voice louder, “I HAVE A NAME!” The family hushed. “Okay,” my grandfather responded, “what is it?” Surprised he had the spotlight, my dad froze. He didn’t actually have an idea for a name. “Put your finger up,” he sputtered. Fortunately, my grandparents had the wisdom not to allow their dog to be named “Put your finger up.” She was eventually named Taffy.
Servant leaders listen. Servant leaders collaborate. Servant leaders empower. But at the end of the day, one of the most loving things servant leaders do is make decisions.
[i] Sara Berg, “What doctors wish patients knew about decision fatigue,” American Medical Association, Mar 21, 2025, https://www.ama-assn.org/delivering-care/public-health/what-doctors-wish-patients-knew-about-decision-fatigue.
[ii] Ibid. One of my favorite books on the topic is easy and fun read Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength.
[iii] Uttam Kumaram, “How Netflix uses machine learning to create perfect recommendations, “Brainforge, https://www.brainforge.ai/blog/how-netflix-uses-machine-learning-ml-to-create-perfect-recommendations.
[iv] I am pretty sure it was Chris Hodges who shared this advice, but I can’t seem to find where I heard it.
[PB1]I think this actually warrants a semicolon rather than colon because they are two closely related, but independent clauses.
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