My wife and I curled up on our daughter’s first big girl bed. Camille was three at the time and Soren was just one year old. We picked up where we were in their children’s Bible as we read to them before they slept. I flipped the cardboard page past the story of the Last Supper to the crucifixion.
Alongside the picture of Christ hanging on a cross, the author explained, “Then bad men who didn’t like Jesus put him on a cross.”
Angel and I looked at each other quizzically. That’s it? That’s the crucifixion story? I flipped the page where the story continued with the story of the resurrection of Christ. That didn’t help. The author hadn’t even explained that Jesus had died. And what was the reason he died? Because “bad men” didn’t like him?
We both realized we would have to go off script for this story. There was much more to share about Jesus’ crucifixion with our kids than the author thought was necessary.
As a culture, we cringe at sharing hard things with our kids. We brush over disappointment and sadness and shut down negative emotions in our children. For many, this is a learned behavior. We were taught that we were only allowed to share good things with our families.
Given our aversion to sadness, it’s not surprising that we have a hard time going to dark places with God in our lives. But to the heights of the rescue of Christ, we must also experience the valleys of his death. God invites us to walk with Jesus into the emotions of the cross. The crucifixion of Christ isn’t a static spiritual reality, but a physical, emotional, and spiritual experience God invites us into.
The Passion of the Christ hit box offices in February of 2004 to mixed reviews. Some criticized the movie for being overly graphic in its depiction of Christ’s death. Because of their understanding of the second commandment where God instructs his people not to make any graven images, other Christians were uneasy with a depiction of Christ on screen.
Whether you loved or hated The Passion of the Christ, if you watched the movie, I doubt you forgot it. The movie flattened me emotionally and spiritually. For that, I’m grateful.
As we approach Good Friday, I invite you to experience the cross again. As you read Matthew’s account, what emotions do you think Jesus was feeling? The thief on the cross? Mary? John? The Centurion?
The Crucifixion
32 As they went out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name. They compelled this man to carry his cross. 33 And when they came to a place called Golgotha (which means Place of a Skull), 34 they offered him wine to drink, mixed with gall, but when he tasted it, he would not drink it. 35 And when they had crucified him, they divided his garments among them by casting lots. 36 Then they sat down and kept watch over him there. 37 And over his head they put the charge against him, which read, “This is Jesus, the King of the Jews.” 38 Then two robbers were crucified with him, one on the right and one on the left. 39 And those who passed by derided him, wagging their heads 40 and saying, “You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself! If you are the Son of God, come down from the cross.” 41 So also the chief priests, with the scribes and elders, mocked him, saying, 42 “He saved others; he cannot save himself. He is the King of Israel; let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. 43 He trusts in God; let God deliver him now, if he desires him. For he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” 44 And the robbers who were crucified with him also reviled him in the same way.
The Death of Jesus
45 Now from the sixth hour[f] there was darkness over all the land[g] until the ninth hour.[h] 46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” 47 And some of the bystanders, hearing it, said, “This man is calling Elijah.” 48 And one of them at once ran and took a sponge, filled it with sour wine, and put it on a reed and gave it to him to drink. 49 But the others said, “Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to save him.” 50 And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and yielded up his spirit.
51 And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And the earth shook, and the rocks were split. 52 The tombs also were opened. And many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised, 53 and coming out of the tombs after his resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many. 54 When the centurion and those who were with him, keeping watch over Jesus, saw the earthquake and what took place, they were filled with awe and said, “Truly this was the Son of God!” (Matthew 27:32-54)
Simon of Cyrene is the first man we meet at this gruesome scene. It’s likely that we know Simon’s name (Mark shares his two sons' names with us) because he and his family later believed in Christ.[i] Drawn by the spectacle of a crucifixion, Simon is forced out of the crowd to carry the cross of a bloodied criminal from Nazareth. He must have been shocked and afraid to have been picked by the Roman guards. Anxiety likely flooded his heart as he picked up the cross. Assuming Simon came to trust Christ, it’s likely there was something about the event that moved him toward faith. I can’t wait to hear Simon share what happened when he took the cross from Jesus and walked beside him toward Golgotha. Was it just a look that Jesus gave him that pierced Simon’s soul? Perhaps Simon’s heart was moved in compassion toward the Suffering Servant. Maybe Jesus spoke words of gratitude toward Simon that moved Simon’s heart? Maybe Simon believed in Jesus’ innocence and was moved to admiration.
What emotions did Jesus feel? Was he ashamed as he hung naked on the cross in front of the crowds? Was he angered by the mocking of the Romans and Jews and even the criminals who hung at his right and left? Was he embarrassed when the soldiers gambled for his clothing? Was he shamed when they taunted him for claiming to be a king? Was he sad when the crowds derided his claim to be the Son of God and even ridiculed the miracle worker for not being able to work a miracle for himself?
As Jesus cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” We hear the despair in his voice. Jesus bears the sin of the world on his shoulders. He stands poised at the gate of death, separated from God the Father, and hell. He has never experienced any of these before and yet knows them better than any human.
We hear a sense of peace and release when Jesus gives up his spirit with the words, “It is finished” (John 19:30).
What emotions did the criminal who defended Jesus experience? Did he feel indignant when he heard his co-conspirator mock Jesus, “Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!” (Luke 23:39)? Did he feel courage and peace when he rebuked the other criminal, “Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong” (Luke 23:40-41)? How did he feel when he turned to Jesus? “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” And can you imagine the joy, hope, and peace that rushed into his heart when Jesus responded, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:42-43)?
What was John feeling as he watched his best friend hang on the cross and stood next to Jesus’ mother, Mary, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the wife of Clopas? He must have been in agony, waves of sorrow crashing on his soul. Did he feel empathy when Jesus turned to Mary, “Woman, behold, your son!” and compassion when he turned to John and said, “Behold, your mother!” (John 19:26b, 26b)?
What emotions did the Centurion who participated in the crucifixion of Christ experience that led him to declare, “Truly, this was the Son of God!” Did the darkness that fell over the land create in him a feeling of dread? Did he feel contempt for the government he served? Hatred for the Jewish leaders? What brought about the spiritual clarity he had? Was it admiration of the peace of Jesus? Was he drawn to Christ's compassion and forgiveness for those who put him to death, even while he hung on the cross? Perhaps he felt remorseful, guilty, and even disgusted at himself? And then he revels in adoration that this man is much more than just the King of the Jews, he is the very Son of God.
This week we come to the cross and behold the man who takes our sin on his shoulders. May it draw us to somber contemplation, awe, sadness, appreciation, and adoration. Jesus chose to love us to the cross. My heart fills with melancholic gratitude. How do you feel as you look upon Jesus today?
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[i] See Richard Bauckham, Jesus and the Eyewitnesses, pp.51-52.