My friend was lost. Over cups of coffee, he shared what had been bottled up inside of him for months. It was hard to figure out which came first, his depression or his spiritual spiral. Secret porn and drug addictions were now coupled with a full-blown affair, and his wife had demanded that he move out. He was confused and hurting, hard-hearted, and spiritually blind. “My girlfriend tells me I just need to give myself grace,” he shared.
“Give yourself grace” has become a common refrain in our culture. A friend might encourage us to give ourselves grace when we forget a workout, miss a deadline or drop the ball relationally. The encouragement comes out of a heart of kindness from our friend but has the potential to misdirect our hearts.
Don’t “give yourself grace.”
I’m not encouraging us to demand more of ourselves. I’m not urging us to turn from the gospel of grace to law, but I am encouraging us to consider where we turn for the source of grace. The source of grace is never ourselves—it is always God.
The most common definition of grace is “unmerited favor.”
John tells us that it is from Jesus “we have all received, grace upon grace.” The word picture John uses has us imagine an overflowing fountain, its water spilling over its rim and flooding the landscape. “For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace” (John 1:16). What a picture! Imagine a family in the backyard on a summer’s day and a joyful child squealing with delight as he sprays his family with the hose running full blast. This is what Jesus does with grace. The grace of God sprays full blast over his creation as Jesus comes. His grace overflows. Again and again in his letters, Paul reminds us that grace comes from the Father and the Son (see 1 Cor. 16:23; 2 Cor. 1:2; Gal. 1:3; Eph. 1:2; Phil. 1:2; Col. 1:2; 2 Thess. 1:2; 1 Tim. 1:2; Titus 1:3; Phil. 1:3).
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