Forgiveness

How to Apologize

How to Apologize

We live in an apology-averse culture.

We are allergic to repentance and equally allergic to forgiveness.

Think about it? When was the last time someone repented to you? I mean, truly repented?

The last time a congregant apologized to me, the email began this way (I’ve tweaked it only to protect the one who sent it), “I might have been a little harsh in my email.. I had a very bad week…” In further communication, the individual referenced their apology. Internally I scratched my head. “When did they apologize?” I dug back through the email thread and saw those phrases. That is what they were referencing.

“I might have…” followed by an excuse is no apology.

I don’t say that to attack the individual I am referencing. In fact, I completely understand why, in our culture, they would think that they had apologized.

In our culture, we learn to apologize with phrases that look like this:

· “Sorry.”

· “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

· “I know I shouldn’t have done that, but you shouldn’t have…”

· “I wouldn’t have done that if…”

· “That wasn’t my best.”

None of those are apologies.

By not learning how to apologize, we miss out on good’s purposes for our hearts and for the possibility of true reconciliation.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. She Wants to Meet the Man Who Killed Her Father: Police Officer Richard Houston was killed when he responded to a domestic disturbance. His 18-year-old daughter spoke profoundly at his funeral. Don’t just read this, make sure you watch the 90 second clip.

  2. Just Preach the Gospel? It’s Complicated: Provocative post by Trevin Wax. I appreciated his thoughts. He says, “At its best, “just preach the gospel” serves as a needed warning to stay tethered to the central message of Christianity. At its worst, it means “don’t touch my idol.”

  3. 12 Observations on Spiritual Authority: Samuel James in 12 compact observations considers spiritual authority, its abuse, and the response for those who have been impacted by it (and those who haven’t).

  4. He Gives His Beloved Sleep: Tim Challies begins, “Of all the divine thoughts recorded in the pages of sacred writ, of all the promises God provides to humanity, perhaps none is more moving, none more blessed, none more needful than this: He gives his beloved sleep.”

  5. Previously Unheard Fish Sounds from Restored Coral Reef: The sound of life is beautiful.